How DWMA Almost Lost its Accreditation
by MangaWitch808
Summary: Soul gets dragged into Maka's family issues when he's invited to a family dinner. Kid and Death ensure that DWMA is accredited. Patty and Liz encounter demons from their past. Tsubaki maintains her facade of innocence while BlackStar deals with his god complex. And Ox throws Kim the best birthday party ever! Action/drama/inappropriate jokes. SoulxMaka. Post-manga(sort of). Done.
1. Maka's Mom Threatens to Visit

Maka's Mom Threatens to Visit

Soul was on his laptop, listening to music as he tapped his pencil against his desk. He was supposed to be doing his homework, but he was taking a study break. At least that's what he told himself. He'd been on Tumblr and listening to music, doing nothing productive at all. He was bobbing his head, singing to himself, to some of his favorite mainstream pop songs. "Baby you're a firework," he mumbled as he reblogged a funny text post. "Make 'em go oh,oh,oh…"

Even with his headphones in, in his room, he heard the house phone ring in the living room. He called out, "Maka! Phone!"

"Got it," she answered. He heard her answer the phone. He turned up the volume to his headphones and changed the song. He began to sing, "I'll rise up, I rise unafraid, I rise up…" he mumbled. Then he laughed at another funny text post and liked it.

"No! I'm fine, I swear!" he heard Maka shout. For a split second, he debated whether or not to make sure she was okay.

"Nah," he mumbled as he scrolled through his playlist. "Let's listen to J. Cole…"

After a few minutes, he heard a knock on his door. He said, "Come in."

Maka trudged into his room and sat on his bed. He turned to look at her. She said, "Your room's a mess."

"So are you," he replied.

"Were you eavesdropping?" she asked, accusingly.

Soul returned to his computer screen. "No. What's up?"

"My mom's coming to visit."

Soul turned around again. "What?"

"She says she needs to check up on me."

"Oh," he shrugged. "That's nice."

"No, that's bad," she said. She leaned backwards onto his bed and groaned, and flailed about. "She's going to ruin everything."

Soul chuckled. "She's not that bad."

"You've only met her once," Maka complained. "And that was during Christmas, when she has to be nice."

Soul shrugged. "Well I guess I'm biased."

"You are," Maka said. She immediately sat up. "Ew, you leave your boxers on your bed!"

"You're the one who sat on my bed. You took the risk."

She pouted. "Soul, I don't know what to do," she whined.

Soul really loved that cute little whine. He'd never admit it, but he really liked Maka. A lot. Like, more than he'd ever liked a girl before. He was pretty sure that he loved her. It was weird. He couldn't explain why, but he'd do anything for this girl. And it's not like she'd ever done anything particularly great for him… he just really liked being around her and living with her, and, the way she handled him in his weapon form… wow.

But yeah, he found this girl extremely attractive… Maka was really cute. And she could be so fierce when she was fighting. She was such a nerd though. And a total spazz at times. Especially when she was worried. And she could be a tad violent. Unnecessarily violent. But those two ponytails, and her short skirt… sure he'd make fun of her about her lack of boobies, but overall he found her looks charming. And yeah her voice could be annoying, but sometimes her voice was really comforting. And when she didn't burn it, she cooked dinner very well. And she had this way of just growing onto him. And she trusted him so much. Overall Maka was just a nice person. And their souls resonated well.

Yup, Maka was pretty swell.

"So what should I do?" Maka asked.

 _Crap, was she talking this whole time?_ Soul wondered. He had been staring right at her, but not listening. Accordingly, he asked, "What? You're asking me for advice?"

"Were you even listening?"

"Yeah, yeah." He tapped his chin. _BS, BS, BS_. He thought. Aloud he said, "So, just talk to her."

Maka shook her head. "You weren't listening."

Soul shrugged. "Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't."

Maka rolled her eyes. "In short, she hasn't seen Papa since the divorce, so I'm not so sure how that's going to play out."

"What does that have to do with you?" Soul interrupted.

"If you had listened," she shot back, "you'd realize that once she sees me, she's going to want to see him. Or if she doesn't see him, he'll come ask me about why she saw me. Or, worse, she may want to see both of us at the same time." She laid her head in the palm of her hands. "And she's going to make fun of my shoes."

 _That came out of nowhere._ He thought. Soul glanced at her shoes. He was thoroughly confused. "…What?"

"She's going to hit me with a _what-are-those_!" She made a gesture at her shoes with her hand.

Soul repeated, "What?"

"She always makes fun of the way I dress."

"What's wrong with the way you dress? I mean, you probably should wear spanks under that skirt but-"

Maka hit him on the head. Soul cursed and grabbed his head and added, "Or at least sit like a lady!"

Maka reared back to hit him again, while shouting, "I do sit like a lady!" Soul backed away, but she still hit him. She then stood against the wall of his room, blushing and said, "Beside, I see you trying to peek. So you're the one that's looking too hard."

"I don't have to look hard," he stated.

"Ugh, you're no help." She stormed out of the room. Then she backtracked and said, "We're having chicken noodle soup for dinner."

Soul shrugged. "Cool."

As she walked out again, he added, "And Maka, I think your shoes are fine."

Maka groaned and slammed the door. Soul frowned. He thought girls liked compliments. After a minute, he sort of laughed. Maka was so funny. Of course she sits like a lady. He was just teasing her. But now she'd probably sit extra careful… and she noticed that he peeks? Or was she teasing him? Soul leaned backwards on his chair. _She's so adorable_ , he thought. And predictable. Sometimes. What was up with her shoes? And would her mom really use an internet meme on her daughter? Soul chuckled. He would die of laughter if he saw that.


	2. Death Learns about State Standards

Death learns about State Standards

Death was sitting in his cloud-room, chilling, drinking tea, and watching Kid, without Kid's knowledge, from one of his mirrors. Kid was folding his clothes neatly and stacking them into his drawer. Death laughed. He wondered how he could have spawned such a neat kid. He, himself, was really quirky, and unorganized, and more of a go-with-the flow type person. He hated to be bothered with neatness, organization, or rules. What's life if you can't be chill? He'd experienced enough rigidity in all his years of dealing with humans.

He took another sip of his tea. Kid flicked a speck of dust off of his shirt. Then he shook it out and folded it. Death laughed. Suddenly, the mirror split screen, so that Kid was on the right side, but an incoming call was on the left. He touched the screen to answer it.

"Howdy, hello, hello!" he cheered into the mirror. It was Stein. Stein replied in his usual cold way, "Good morning."

"Stein, how are you?" Death asked.

"Slightly annoyed." Stein screwed the screw on his head. Death had always been curious about that, but he didn't know if it was too invasive to ask. Stein said, "Some lady from the state said that she needs to speak with you."

"Lady from the state?" Death repeated.

"Here," Stein said, pointing at the mirror, as if showing someone. A lady approached the mirror. She said, "He-hello?"

"Howdy, hi, hi!" Death replied.

"…Uh…Are you the principal of this school?"

"Does it kill you to say hi?" he asked. He didn't like it when people didn't greet him. It's the least that they could do. Look Death in the face and say hi.

"Oh… Um… Hi." She cleared her throat. Poor lady. Death could tell that she was overwhelmed. Maybe she wasn't used to the supernatural. The lady said, "Good morning. My name is Vianca Blance, and I'm an Educational Deputy for the state. I inspect schools to ensure that they meet the state standards."

"Is that soooooo?" Death said in a singsong voice.

"Yes." She adjusted her glasses, and brushed aside a stray, brunette lock that fell from her pulled back hair-bun. "I've been calling and asking for an appointment to check the school, but due to lack of response, I decided to show up unannounced. I must say, although you've registered as a…" she opened her padfolio and pulled out a document, "supernatural technical secondary school", she slipped the paper back into the folio, "you've neglected to maintain state standards for basic core areas." She pulled out a sheet of paper. "You've failed to give a state mandated competency test for seven years now. The scores before those were pitiful. And you don't assign grades to your students?"

Death shook his head. "We keep track of the number of souls they've collected."

The woman's eyes doubled in size. She pursed her lips. Then she looked through her folder. She looked at Death. "Did you file for a license to kill?"

"…" Death shrugged. He was kind of a Shinigami… did… did he need one?

"You should definitely put in the paperwork for that immediately. Otherwise I'll have to shut down the school."

Death laughed. He laughed too hard. He bent over and laughed. The flustered Vianca frowned. She set her padfolio down, took out a sheet of paper and stamped it with a big red stamp. She said, "I've put the school on probation." She held out one finger. "You have one semester to fix all the issues I've listed! Otherwise, you lose your accreditation with the National Association of Secondary Schools!"

"So what?" Death asked, nonchalantly.

Stein added, "That means we can't legally operate as a school."

"So what?"

"Students won't get credit for graduating here."

"So what?"

Stein sighed. "Simply put, the school will become a laughing stock."

Death frowned and exclaimed, "What?! My school!? A joke?!"

Stein nodded. "Bingo."

Vianca trudged away as Death called out, "Wait! How do I file for a license to kill!?"

She turned around, pulled a paper out of her portfolio, and slammed it on the desk. "Fax it to the Central Office of Education by 6pm tonight and I can have it express processed for a small processing fee! Make the check payable to the State Department of Education!" And she stormed out of the room.

Death stared at Stein. Stein shrugged. "I don't do paperwork."

Death complained, "Why are we being harassed? We breed students that go on to ensure justice and peace throughout the world!"

Stein sat down in a rolling chair and rolled toward the desk to pick up the paper. "Well, if we're the example of justice, shouldn't we follow simple state laws?"

Death sighed. He had a point. "I guess. But I don't see why we have to do paperwork. Does True Cross Academy have to do that stuff? They have students exorcise demons! Hmm?"

Stein nodded. "Yeah."

Death was actually surprised. "Really?"

"Yup. They're fully accredited."

"…how do you know?"

"I did a research project there. Worked with the spawn of Satan. It was fun."

Death felt annoyed. Stein said, "We should probably find someone to do this paperwork. We need a bunch of signatures."

Death sighed.


	3. BlackStar Demands Respect

BlackStar demands Respect

Stein moseyed on into the classroom and sat down on the swivel chair and said, "Good morning, today's class—"

BlackStar stood up and shouted, "STEIN! WHY ARE YOU LATE TO MY CLASS! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO KEEP SOMEONE AS BIG AS ME WAITING!"

Stein continued, "So if you'll take out your books and turn to page 310, today we'll be starting our lecture on reading the enemy."

BlackStar shouted, "DID HE JUST IGNORE ME?!"

Tsubaki begged him, "Please just sit down BlackStar…"

BlackStar jumped from his seat, and landed on top of the teacher's desk. He leaned into Stein's face and shouted, "HOW DARE YOU IGNORE—"

"Tsubaki, please come get your meister," Stein calmly said.

The whole class, including BlackStar, turned to look at Tsubaki. Tsubaki blushed. BlackStar pointed to himself. "You should address me." He pointed to Tsubaki. "Not her."

Stein stood up and began to write something on the board. "Much like in the video games of the Smash Bros. franchise, you'll have to learn to read your opponents, predicting their moves before—"

BlackStar nudged Stein on the back of the head with his foot. "Hey Frankie, what's gotten into you today? You're pretending like I'm not big."

Stein turned to BlackStar, his eyes with murderous intent. "Because you're not."

BlackStar laughed. "THERE WE GO FRANKIE!" He laughed. "IT'S A SHAME THAT YOU'RE SPOUTING DELUSIONAL NONESENSE—"

Stein grabbed the boy by his face and brought his ear next to his mouth. He said, "You are the delusional one. You're the most pathetic meister here. I feel sorry for Tsubaki. You're not big. You're not even significant. And if I wanted to, I could kill you right now." He then shocked BlackStar with his soul wavelength and threw him to the opposite corner of the room. "And don't call me Frankie."

He turned to the students. "Actually, let's take a moment to observe what failure, personified looks like." He pointed to BlackStar. "A loud-mouthed kid with no talent that has to brag about achievements he could never accomplish. Isn't that right—"

BlackStar sat up, smiling, as if that attack didn't even scratch him. "NO, YOU'RE WRONG I'M—"

"Tsubaki?" Stein called out.

Tsubaki froze. _NO LEAVE ME ALONE!_ She thought.

BlackStar looked at Tsubaki. Everyone looked at Tsubaki. She gulped.

Stein edged her on, "Well?"

Tsubaki shook her head. "O—of course not!"

BlackStar took a deep breath, and shouted, "HAHAHA! SHE'S BLESSED TO BE WITH SUCH A POWERFUL MEISTER!"

Stein asked, "So you agree with BlackStar?"

She nodded, awkwardly smiling. Stein shrugged, and said, "Fine. A relationship built on a lie can only last so long."

BlackStar stared at Tsubaki. Stein said, "So yeah, read the chapter." He mumbled to himself, "I need a smoke break." Muttering, he added, "Although I promised I'd stop…" And he walked out of the room. BlackStar then walked out of the room as well, with his head down. Tsubaki immediately turned to Soul. "Did I do something wrong?" she asked.

Soul shrugged. "I dunno. Knowing him, he probably wanted you to boast about him and his god-like powers or something. He'll be over it by tomorrow."

Maka added, "You should really tell him to stop yelling at Stein every day. It gets annoying. I don't even know what he's going to quiz us on."

Tsubaki sighed. "Oh no, I made him upset."

Soul patted her back. "He's an idiot. He'll get over it tomorrow."

Tsubaki shook her head. "I think I really made him upset." She stood up. "I'll go apologize to him—"

"Maybe he should apologize to the class, for ruining another lecture," Maka complained. "And you especially. He makes you both look silly."

Tsubaki answered, "It doesn't really bother me."

Maka flipped through the pages of her textbook. "It would drive me insane to be his partner. Imagine if you acted like that Soul."

"I'm too cool," he mumbled as he pulled out his laptop and plugged his headphones in. Tumblr time.

Tsubaki still left the classroom. She found BlackStar sitting right outside the door. She asked him, "Are you okay BlackStar?"

"Of course I am, I'm a god. Mere mortals don't offend me."

Tsubaki released a sigh of relief. BlackStar asked, "But, you, you're a mortal. Did he offend you?"

Tsubaki didn't understand why he had called her a mortal. They were both mortal. "No. That's just Stein."

BlackStar asked, "Did I offend you?"

Tsubaki was caught off guard by that one. "Uh…"

BlackStar stood up and pointed at her. "HOW COULD I NOT HAVE NOTICED?! MY HOLY PRESENCE IS OVERWHELMING YOU!"

Tsubaki just… how could she reply to that? _What the seven layers of hell BlackStar?_ She thought. BlackStar pounded a fist into the palm of his other hand. "That settles it," he said. "Because I care about you, I'll have to tone down my omnipotence to mortal level."

Tsubaki didn't… like, what could she even say?

BlackStar patted her shoulder. "Don't worry. I'll win back the respect of Stein for your sake. I'll accept the role of a mere mortal. It might be difficult—" He laughed. "Actually, nothing's difficult for me!"

Tsubaki couldn't help herself. She quietly asked, "Do you _seriously_ think like this or is it an act BlackStar?"

BlackStar stared at her. She stared at him. He waved his hand at her, as if dismissing her question as stupid. He began, "An act?" He laughed. "I'm sorry that you mere mortals can't understand."

She shook her head. "Never mind." She returned to class and sat down and laid her head down on the desk. Maka asked, "Are you okay?"

"No," she curtly replied.

Maka glanced at Soul. Soul was really invested in his laptop. Maka said, "It'll be alright."

Tsubaki shrugged. "He…called me a mortal…"

"A…mortal?" Maka repeated.

"We're all kinda mortal," Soul stated.

"Apparently not BlackStar. I'm starting to worry that his ego has warped his perception of reality."

"Soul you should deal with that," Maka said.

"Why me?" questioned Soul.

"Aren't you two best bros?"

Soul groaned. Yeah. They were. BlackStar would always go out of his way to be a bro for Soul. Soul could count on that boy for anything. Once, he even beat up Ox on behalf of Soul's honor when Ox was talking shit about him. And there's no telling the amount of times that BlackStar had lied to get Soul out of trouble.

"Doesn't mean I have to fix his god complex," Soul said.

Maka shrugged. "Doesn't seem cool to let your best friend be an idiot."

Soul shrugged. "Just like it's not cool to let my meister walk around with those shoes."

Maka blushed. She reared back and hit Soul on the head with the textbook. "If not for BlackStar, then do it to help Tsubaki."

Soul rubbed his head. "I'll help, I'll help!" He turned to Tsubaki. "How can I help?"

Tsubaki shrugged. "Tell him to be realistic. Like, I know he's strong, and he's got a great heart, and his power is amazing, but he shouldn't yell at teachers, and he's definitely mortal… And tell him that he'll never surpass gods if he can't shutup for two seconds. And tell him that he needs to get his act together and take himself seriously. And tell him that it's not funny to always peek on me, because it's getting old."

Soul blushed. He turned his face toward his laptop. Maka complained, "You boys are lecherous pigs."

"Who's you boys?" Soul said. He'd never do something like that. He was way to cool to be peeking. Cool dudes attract girls that want to expose themselves…

Wait…

Actually, he'd never thought of it before, but the fact that that stupid witch cat was always rubbing her chest in Soul's face… HE MUST BE THE COOLEST DUDE EVER!

Soul chuckled. "I'm cool," he mumbled to himself.

BlackStar strode into the room once more. He stood on the desk and shouted, "LISTEN ALL OF YOU TO THE DECREE OF THE HOLY ONE BEFORE YOU!"

Tsubaki sighed.

He cleared his throat. "STARTING TODAY, I'LL BEHAVE AS ONE OF YOU! I'VE REALIZED THAT THE HUMAN WORLD IS NOT READY FOR MY GODLINESS!"

Soul nodded. "See, problem solved."

Stein walked into the classroom, saw BlackStar on the table, and turned around to walk away. BlackStar called out, "Hey, Frankie, did you hear my decree!?"

Stein sighed. "No. What?"

"I'm going to pretend to be normal."

"…" Stein shook his head slowly, in annoyance. "You do that." He suggested.

"This way, I'll earn back your respect for Tsubaki!"

"…" Stein glanced over to Tsubaki. Even with her head down, she could tell that his eyes were burning into her soul. Actually, Stein was really curious. He wanted to figure out how she could deal with this brat.


	4. Liz and Patty Kill an Old Friend

Liz and Patty Kill and Old Friend

"Hahahahahahahaha!" Patty giggled, as Kid cried in the corner. He had actually accidently forgotten to fold the toilet paper back into a triangle—the first time in many years that this had happened. Yet, it crushed him. Liz tried to comfort him, saying, "There, there, maybe it was a housemaid that cleaned and forgot?"

Kid sobbed, "Why am I so sloppy that I hired incompetent maids?" He curled up into a ball. "I'm wretched. I deserve to die."

Liz turned to Patty. "Patty! Do something!"

Patty kicked him. Kid rolled over and continued to cry. Patty laughed. "I tried!" she cheered.

Liz sighed. "You're no help," she said.

Patty laughed. Life was so fun and great! Everything was awesome! Everything is grand! She loved life! Living as Kid's weapons was a piece of cake, and Kid was so adorable and funny! She loved to watch his mental breakdowns over such trivial things. In an odd way, it relieved her. It drew her mind away from the horrors she'd seen on the streets of Brooklyn.

No. Don't think about the streets.

Think about happy stuff. Think about how cute Kid looks curled up in that ball. Think about how Liz is trying hard to comfort him. Think about how funny it is that someone can literally cry over something so stupid as tissue. That's so dumb! It's hilarious! She fell on the floor, laughing, rolling and grabbing her abs. Kid was so dumb! Patty had to sit up and catch her breath. Liz was telling Kid, "Next time, just make sure to fold it, and it'll be alright."

"There won't be a next time. Seppuku…" Kid mumbled. "Turn into a gun. Let me end myself."

Liz kicked him in the side. "NO!"

"Harder Liz! It takes more to kill a Shinigami," he sighed.

Patty frowned at him and gruffly said, "Don't joke about suicide."

Kid and Liz glanced at Patty. Oops, she'd done it again. She went Skreet on them. She smiled. "But you can say other stuff. It's funny."

Kid sighed. He knew all of Patty's triggers, but he always seemed to trigger them anyway. He was such a worthless person! He began to cry and pound the floor. Patty laughed. Liz abandoned the hope of cheering up the neurotic brat, and hugged Patty around her shoulders. "You okay?" she asked.

Patty nodded.

Liz smiled. "You sure?"

Patty nodded.

"Kay," she pinched Patty on the cheek.

"Oink!" she cheered.

"Oink?"

"Like a little bunny!"

Liz laughed. Patty laughed. This was fun! Life was fun!

Later that evening, Patty was playing her PSP when Kid rushed downstairs and said, "We've got a mission!"

Patty complained, "Oh, boo! I can't save until after I beat this monster!"

Liz walked in from the other room. "You called?"

Kid said, "We've got to stop someone who's been setting fire to houses."

"Asshole," Liz said. "Why's he doing that?"

Kid shrugged. "Let's go," Kid said.

They changed into gun form, and Kid grabbed one in each hand. Then he rubbed the guns against his face. "So symmetrical!" He mused.

"Would you stop that?" Liz complained.

"HAAHHAHAHAHAA!" Patty laughed.

Kid then left the house, jumped on his magical flying skateboard, and flew away. Liz asked, "Where are we going?"

"Cali," Kid said.

"Ooo!" Patty cooed.

"Where in Cali?" Liz asked.

"LA," Kid said. "Someone was smart and evil enough to set fire to a place suffering droughts."

Kid's super skateboard flew them over to LA in no time flat. He hovered over a massive wildfire that had spread through a forest, destroying natural vegetation and cooking the poor animals that couldn't escape.

"Wow," Kid thought. "This is…"

"Horrible," Liz said.

"Not good," Patty said.

"Oddly symmetric," Kid finished. "It's almost in the shape of concentric rings." He thrust his hands in the air. "What beauty!"

"That means that it's definitely arson," Liz suggested. "Natural fire spreads randomly, not in rings."

"Such a tasteful design. I like this arsonist," Kid said.

Patty laughed. Liz complained, "You're something else Kid…"

Out of the blue, something activated Kid's senses and he barely dodged a flaming ball of fire that had come from behind him, out of nowhere. He turned around to look for the source of it. Before he knew it, flaming balls of fire were shooting up at him. He effortlessly twirled on his board to avoid them.

"What's going on?" he asked himself. Out loud he demanded, "Show yourself!"

For a moment, no more attacks were fired.

Then another barrage of fireballs launched into the air. Kid mumbled, "Found you," as he jumped and kicked his skateboard toward some flaming shrubbery. He landed on the ground, pointed his guns, and said, "Come out arsonist."

A person emerged from the bushes, clapping. "Well, well, well, you happened to see me!" The young man said. His skin was singed, his black, messy hair was singed as well, and his eyes had dark circles around them. Patty and Liz gasped.

"And, what a surprise! I never thought I'd see you again, Thompson sisters," said the person as he waltzed through the flames. His right hand was in the pocket of his dark blue skinny jeans, while his right hand was a flamethrower. His white tank-top was scorched from the flames.

"Again?" Kid repeated.

"Johnny 'The Human Torch' Slovinsky," Liz called out. "What brings you to the West Coast?"

"I never thought I'd see your bitch ass again," Patty said.

"After you two ditched the crew and left me for dead, of course you didn't," he said. "But like the plot of an action movie, I'm back from what seems like the dead, bitches!"

Patty said, "Kid, bust a cap in this mutherf*cker."

Kid shrugged. "Look how disgusting and unsymmetrical he is. One hand on one side, a torch on the other." He cringed as he took aim. "He doesn't deserve to live."

Kid began shooting at this Torch character, but he effortlessly dodged his shots. Torch said, "Your aim is poorer than the aim of the bad guys when they try to shoot the main character!"

Liz complained, "Shut up with the movie references!"

Torch turned his feet into flamethrowers, and used them to propel himself into the air. Kid ducked and rolled out of the way and aimed properly, shooting the guy in the forehead.

"Yes! Symmetrical!" Kid cheered.

Liz complained, "You missed those other shots because you were trying to get a perfect headshot?"

"Now's not the time for your stupid shit Kid," Patty complained.

Kid sighed. When Patty was mad, he knew he was being stupid. "Okay, okay. But who is this guy?"

"Can we tell you afterwards?" Liz asked. "Watch out!"

Kid rolled backwards as Torch sprayed the ground with fire. He then turned his other arm into a flamethrower and began to spray fire left and right. Kid gawked at him. "Sy-sy-symetrical!" he mused.

"Dodge!" Liz said. Kid had been so distracted, that he didn't notice the flames spreading and gathering. An enormous firestorm flared up, but Kid managed to move out of the way, backing up from the dry bramble that was feeding the flames.

"Kid, hit him with our cannon!" Liz declared.

Kid fell over backwards, as if struck by some powerful, invisible force. Liz screamed, "Kid!"

"My—my suit is singed!" he muttered out as he passed out. Sure enough, a portion of the left arm of his suit was gone. Liz and Patty changed back into their human forms. "Really?" Liz complained.

"Torch!" Patty called out.

"Calling my name, like the heroine calls out to her mortal enemy," Torch mused.

"Liz, gun mode," Patty demanded.

"No, you be the weapon. I can sense your rage."

"I want him dead!"

Torch laughed maniacally. "You like the laugh? I've perfected it over the years! Oh what a sweet day! I've been yearning to see your pretty faces so I can disfigure them with third degree burns!" He laughed maniacally again. "But, alas, not today. Bigger fish have yet to be burned." He turned to leave.

"Fine I'll be the weapon!" Patty shouted as she changed into gun mode. Liz grabbed her and took aim, shooting at Torch, who dodged effortlessly.

"Is that all you've got? You haven't changed a bit!" Torch declared.

Liz jumped into the air, and spun in a summersault as she changed into the gun and Patty grabbed her. Patty charged up a powerful blast, and shot it at him. He dodged, but it returned and shot him in the back. He fell from the sky, right into the flames that he had created. A moment later, he emerged from the flames.

"So you did learn new tricks?!" He brushed off the ashes of his tattered shirt and singed pants.

"Homing bullets," Patty said. She shot another barrage at him, and he dodged each at first, but the bullets kept returning and hitting him in the back.

"Ha, makes poetic sense," he said as another bullet got him in the back, "that your main way of attacking me is behind my back." Patty stood a distance away from him, as the fire began to encircle them. Liz said, "Patty, let's get Kid and go, the fire's getting out of hand."

"Let's kill him for real this time!" Patty said as she took aim. "Soul resonance sis!"

Liz agreed, and they shouted, "Soul! Resonance!" Liz reverted back to her human form, but one hand remained in the shape of a barrel of a gun. She was pressed against Patty, who also had a hand in the shape of a gun. Together, they formed a double barreled gun. They charged up their attack. "Fire in 3," Liz began.

"Two," Patty said.

"One," the said together, as the released the blast.

The force from the blast generated winds that blew away most of the flames. Once the dust cleared, all that was left was single soul.

"It's your turn Patty," Liz said.

"I don't want that trash soul," Patty said.

Liz agreed. "Me neither."

Patty grabbed a charred stick, and poked it, as if it was something filthy. Liz sighed. The embers of the forest fire was all that remained of the area. Patty smiled. "Well that was fun."

"You okay sis?" Liz asked.

Patty nodded. "Great!"

"…Sure?"

"I'm okay for real," she insisted. "Now that this shitty mcshitface is erased from this plane of existence."

Liz sighed. "Okay." She pointed to Kid. "Let's wake him up and go home."


	5. Soul Gets Invited to Dinner

Soul gets invited to Dinner

"Soul!" Maka called out as she exited her room and sat beside Soul on the sofa. Soul sarcastically mocked her, calling out, "Maka!"

"Soul, my mom just called again," Maka informed.

"Good?"

"Bad. She wants to have dinner with me and my father at this fancy restaurant downtown."

"Sound fun."

"No. It's going to be horrible. They're going to argue all night and I'm going to just be sitting there, observing it and being embarrassed."

"It's not gonna be that bad."

"It is."

"I bet it's not," Soul argued. "They got along well during Christmas."

Maka sighed. "That was before the divorce."

"It'll be fine Maka. You worry too much."

"It's gonna suck."

Soul rolled his eyes. "What, do you want me to do about it? Come with you?"

Maka's eyes lit up. "Would you please?"

Soul groaned. "That was sarcasm."

"And this is pleading: Please Soul?"

"Why?"

"If you're there, they're more likely to not argue."

Soul rolled his eyes. "Fine."

Maka hugged him. "Thank you, thank you!"

"Get off," he complained, although he quite enjoyed the affection.

Maka grabbed his shoulders and said, "You have to do one huge favor for me though."

"On top of the one I'm already doing?"

"Yes. Can you please, please, please keep conversation going, and steer them away from the topic of the divorce?"

"They're going to talk about it," Soul insisted. "Your dad talks about it to everyone he knows. Why wouldn't he talk to his ex-wife about it?"

"But just steer them away?"

"…" Soul shrugged. "I'll try."

"Thank you!" she hugged him again.

"What's in it for me?" Soul asked.

"Free food?"

"What else?"

"…I'll be thankful?"

"How thankful?" Soul teased, raising his eyebrows.

"Pervert," Maka complained, pretending to slap him. "I'll bake cookies or something."

"Trying to fatten me up I see."

"Didn't you want a harmonica? I'll get you a harmonica," Maka decided.

Soul shook his head. "My brother's getting me one already."

Maka asked, "I'll owe you a favor. How's that?"

"It should be two favors, but sure, I'll take that."

Maka held out her hand, and the two did their secret handshake.

Then Maka laid back on the sofa, sprawling out, so that her feet rested in Soul's lap. "Thank you Soul, you're the best."

Soul asked, "Your parents will just let me come?"

"Yup," she said. "Don't even have to ask."

"More like you're not going to ask."

"You know me so well," she said. "How is your brother by the way?"

Soul shrugged. "He texts me sometimes. He's been on my case lately about stupid shit."

Maka asked, "Oh no, what is it?"

Soul mumbled, "It's just dumb shit."

"You can tell me anything Soul. I'm gonna keep asking."

"It's just about school. It's nothing serious."

"You never tell me anything," complained Maka.

"I just did."

"No you didn't. I need details. I tell you my details."

Soul started tapping a rhythm on Maka's shin. "I don't ask for your details. You offer them."

Blair walked by, in cat form, and said, "You naughty boy!"

Soul glared at the cat and threatened, "I'll kill you again."

"If you were to ask, I'd tell you," Maka said. "Ask me anything. I'll tell you."

"What's it like to have no swag?" Soul asked.

Maka frowned. "I do have swag."

"You're sadly mistaken."

"My turn," Maka said. "What's it like to turn into a weapon?"

"Turn into a weapon?" Soul repeated. "I dunno. You just… do it. It just happens, you know?" He raised up his arm, and it magically became a scythe blade. "It just happens. I can't explain it."

"But like, is it part of your body? Or?"

"It's part of my body of course."

"But can you feel it?"

"Feel what?"

"Like, if you cut someone, can you feel their body being cut against your blade?" Maka sat up and touched his scythe arm. "Like can you feel my touch?"

Soul hadn't really thought about that before. "I mean, yeah. But no. It depends on whether I want to feel it." Soul reverted his arm back. "When my whole body is a weapon, I'm not really a human. I'm a literal weapon, but I have a conscious. It's like…" he paused and thought. Then he said, "…like, suppose you have a third arm."

Maka nodded.

Soul continued, "You can't really use that third arm. But it's there. You feel me?"

Maka shook her head, confused.

"Your questions are stupid Maka," declared a frustrated Soul.

"That's just cuz you don't want to think too hard," she argued.

"Ask Tsubaki," Soul said. "She has like, seven forms. She probably understands it more than I do. Especially her smoke bomb mode… she blows up into smoke, but then she comes back… I'd like to know more about that."

Maka nodded. "Okay."

Soul continued to drum on Maka's shin with his fingers. "Any other questions?"

"What are you making for dinner?" Maka asked.

"…It's my turn?"

"Don't play dumb Soul…" Maka complained.

"LOL, okay. Yeah. I'm making Soul food," he joked.

Maka lowered her eyes. "Soul food? Really?"

"Yup. Mashed potatoes. Fried chicken. Greens."

"I'm done with you. Goodbye," Maka said as she laughed, and she stood up and left.


	6. Ox and Harvar get Flashed

Ox and Harvar get Flashed

"Where could he be," Ox said as he stood on top of a building—the tallest he could find—and overlooked the entire city of Tokyo.

Harvar flashed his image across the weapon and said, "You probably won't see him from here."

Ox scoffed, "Good. I don't want to."

"You're not the one who has to thrust your weapon form inside him."

"…why'd you phrase it like that?"

"Can't you tell I'm looking forward to this?" Harvar sarcastically replied.

Ox grimaced. He didn't like this just as much as the next guy. But they'd been tasked to do it.

"There," Ox said, pointing at a crowd of people suddenly dispersing from one area. "You ready?"

"…" Harvar didn't respond.

Ox jumped off of the building, and threw his spear-weapon partner toward the ground, in such a way that the spear spun around, and creating a lighting-based propeller. Ox landed… well technically floated above the spinning, levitating spear. He leaned forward, guiding the make-shift hover-propeller toward the crowd.

He floated over toward the center of the crowd. "Brace yourself, my friend," Ox said. He jumped into the center of a street, depopulated of pedestrians who had fled away. Only a single person stood in the middle of the street. Harvar stopped spinning, and Ox held out his hand, catching the spear-dude in his hands. He pointed Harvar at the person standing across from them.

"Mr. Flash, the indecent exposer, prepare to have your soul captured," Ox declared.

The person before them chuckled. His naked body stood in full glory before them. "What's wrong with being a nudist?"

Ox declared, "You're not a nudist. Don't give me that shit. You're sick person who targets and harasses young women and children by sticking your junk in their faces. For that, you must pay."

"It's not like I've killed anyone," he said. "I'm just living life with my handsome body." He struck a pose.

Yes, this man was handsome. But no one wanted to see his junk.

Ox declared, "You force yourself upon others. You feed off of the embarrassment, humiliation and harassment of others. You use your nudity not as a form of self-expression or personal belief. You use it solely for the purpose of harassment of others. And as a student at DWMA, I cannot forgive you!"

Ox charged at Mr. Flash and spun around, generating a lightning filled current, which he thrust in the direction of Mr. Flash. But the enemy disappeared. He reappeared behind Ox and kicked him in the back of the head, which sent him tumbling across the street. He rolled out of the way as a car passed by.

"They call me Mr. Flash because I'm super, duper fast! Get it?" He ran toward them and jumped and kicked Ox in the face with both of his legs. Then he sent a barrage of kicks flying Ox's way, and finished his combo by kneeing Ox in the face in an uppercut motion, sending Ox into the air. Suddenly Mr. Flash was above Ox, and kicked him downward with a strong thrust of both legs.

"Dammit!" Ox said aching. "Those kicks are powerful."

Harvar said, "Take the defensive, until you understand his fighting style. Seems like he's a kicker—Ox!"

Ox realized that Mr. Flash was standing right behind him, with one foot raised nearly vertically in the air. He brought his foot down upon Ox so quickly that he almost didn't dodge it. He was able to barely miss that attack though. Mr. Flash crossed his arms in front of his chest and started jumping around, flailing about his legs like powerful mallets, smashing the pavement with every swing of his legs.

Ox dodged each attack. Harvar said, "I see his opening, his weakness."

"What is it?" Ox frantically asked.

"In between his kicks, there's a window of time where he's unguarded. I'll tell you when to strike!"

Ox nodded as he dodged another kick.

"NOW!" Harvar shouted.

Ox chucked his spear-partner at Mr. Flash, piercing him in his right shoulder. Ox jumped toward him, grabbed Harvar and together they shouted, "SOUL RESONANCE!"

Lightning struck from the sky, onto Harvar, and channeled into Mr. Flash, who exploded into ashes, leaving his soul behind. Harvar collected it.

"You're not going to eat it?" Ox asked.

Harvar was silent. "…"

Ox didn't want to delve into that deeper, so he let it be. They'd done their job. All's well that ends well.


	7. Death creates a Curriculum

Death creates a Curriculum

"I've created a committee of my most trusted staff, in order to revise the school's curriculum for the current day, and meet up with state standards," Death stated.

In the room sat Spirit, Sid, Marie, Nygus, and Stein. Death had called them in for a 'faculty meeting', afterschool. Little did they know that they would be assigned with such a tedious task.

"We don't meet state standards?" Marie asked.

"That's what he's saying," Stein said.

"Why not?" Marie asked.

Death gave them each a thick stack of papers. "Apparently, we're supposed to offer core courses and core electives," he said. "These are the standards suggested by the state."

Nygus said, "I'm pretty sure that _standards_ aren't _suggestions_ by the state."

Sprit flipped through it. "Isn't this what we teach our NOT classes?" Spirit asked.

"Nope," Death answered. He handed each of them a piece of paper. "That's our curriculum."

Sid scratched his head. "…of our NOT classes? Boy things have changed since I died."

"What's the curriculum for our EAT classes?" Spirit asked.

"You were an EAT student," Death said. "What did you learn?"

"How to collect and eat souls," he said.

"Exactly," Death concluded. "Perfect curriculum in my opinion."

Stein said, "He didn't pay attention." He screwed the screw in his head. "But I did. And I can vouch for the fact that the quality of state-mandated curriculum has dwindled in the past years. We need more math, science, biology, dissection…" He smiled.

"And literature," Marie suggested. "Like _Pride and Prejudice_! Like _Little Women_! _Great Expectations!_ Like _The Fault in our Stars_! Plus, they need to know how to write good essays."

"And we should probably teach them more computer skills and professional and technical skills," Sid said. "The world has become more technologically savvy since I've died, and proper networking skills are a must in this day and age."

Nygus suggested, "And we should definitely teach them more social sciences. Psychology, anthropology, ethics, languages."

Spirit suggested, "Sex Ed."

They all looked at him. He blushed, "I wish I'd known a little more about that, you know?"

Death flipped through the state standards. "Looks like we do need a Sex Ed class."

Spirit gave them all a look that said _I was right. Suck it!_

Death said, "I'm liking all these ideas. Now, let's organize it into a comprehensive organized proposal that we can have Eruka submit to the state."

"Who's Eruka?" Spirit asked.

"You should know this. The new secretary," Death said.

"Did you do a background check this time?" Spirit asked, sarcastically.

Death frowned. He hit Spirit on the head.

Marie added, "That's a legitimate question! It still surprises me how you let a witch as strong as Medusa become your school nurse. "

Death reared back to hit her too, but Stein frowned at Death. Death realized that he probably shouldn't be attacking the members of his committee, especially the pregnant ones, who were together with Stein. So he said, "Did I need to run a background check? She's a nice witch. And she's magical with the paperwork."

Nygus said, "Maybe we focus on the curriculum?"

"Yes," Death said. "We have to have it approved by the end of the semester."

"Why?" Marie asked.

"So we can implement it next semester," Death said.

"And the school is on academic probation from the state, and must meet all requirements by the end of the semester, or else lose our accreditation," Stein elaborated.

Everyone's jaw dropped, except for Death and Stein of course.

Death agreed, "That too."

"We weren't following state standards before?" Nygus asked.

"Well, yes and no," Death explained. "We were in some respects, but we weren't in others. For instance," he flipped to the last page of the packet, "each school is supposed to offer certain courses at the least."

"Core studies such as math, literature and composition, history, science," Spirit read, "as well as core electives such as technology and health."

"We have history of weaponry," Sid said.

"Write that down," Death said. He brought out a rolling whiteboard on wheels and handed each person a dry erase marker. Together, they listed all the courses that DWMA already offered, and Sid found the many syllabi on the DWMA website and began compiling the courses into a curriculum packet. The difficult part was filling in gaps for classes that they didn't have. For a long while, they discussed about courses.

"What languages should we offer?" Death asked.

"I'm quite partial to German," Marie said.

"Let's teach something exotic, like, Hindi," Spirit suggested.

"Exotic?" Stein repeated. "Just because you find it foreign doesn't mean it's exotic."

"Or a romance language like Spanish," Marie suggested. "Or Latin?"

"Let's do Arabic," Spirit decided.

"Because it's 'exotic'?" Stein asked.

"Or Korean," Marie said. "I've always wanted to watch K drama without subtitles."

Nygus asked, "Who can teach all that?"

"Obviously I can't," Marie said.

Death shrugged. "We'll figure something out. What about," he looked at the list, "technology electives?"

"If the school buys the MRI machine I wanted, I can teach students how to use that," Stein suggested.

Death clearly said, "No."

"True Cross Academy has an MRI machine."

"Really?" Death said. "Well we can't let them outshine us—"

Sid added, "I'm pretty sure that they mean computer skills, such as typing, computer hardware and software, mechanics—"

"Spirit, take notes," Death ordered.

Spirit groaned. Why did he always get stuck on notetaking duty?! He looked at his watch. "We've been at this for three hours. I demand a break."

Death looked at his watch. "I guess this was a productive day. Once you finish writing down those notes, you are all free to go. BUT, we're going to have these faculty curriculum planning meets every Tuesday and Thursday at this time."

"Each week?" Spirit complained.

"Nah, monthly, shithead," Stein replied.

"Oh thank goodness," Spirit replied. "I have a date with Destiny this Thursday."

Marie, curious, asked, "A date with destiny?"

"Yes, she's this cute young woman who I met at the mall—"

Sid said, "Hurry up and write the notes. Even though I'm dead, I have plans this evening."

Spirit frowned and grumbled something about not being appreciated as he uncapped his dry erase marker. "…What was I supposed to write?"

Everyone groaned.


	8. Soul Resists Temptation

Soul Resists Temptation

After gym class, Soul was changing his clothes in the locker room. BlackStar came out of the shower, and shouted, "HAHAHAHAHAHA! EVERYONE WISHES THEY WERE AS BIG AS ME!"

Soul reminded him, "Aren't you trying to be normal?"

"HOW COULD I BE NORMAL WITH THIS UNNATURALLY BIG C—"

Ox hit him on the back of his head. BlackStar turned around and gave him an intimidating look, saying, "I'll kick your ass."

"Fight me then," Ox said.

The two squared up, ready to duke it out. Soul complained, "Can't we have one gym class where you two don't end up wrestling naked in the shower room…"

But BlackStar started throwing kicks at Ox. Ox ducked, and tried to leg sweep BlackStar, but BlackStar jumped and twisted his body so that he kneed Ox on the side of his head. Ox spun into a locker. BlackStar placed his hands on his sides and laughed, proclaiming, "I'M DEFINITELY STILL A GOD!"

Soul didn't reply. BlackStar turned to Soul and said, "Hurry up and get dressed so we can sneak into the girl's locker room."

 _Is that a routine thing now_? Soul wondered. He'd never done it, but BlackStar always asked him to. "Nah," Soul said.

"Why not?" BlackStar interrogated.

"I have better things to do than harass the ladies," he replied.

"Aw come on," BlackStar insisted. "It's good practice for assassin techniques."

"There's other ways to practice assassin techniques. But yeah, you go ahead."

"You afraid of getting caught Soul?"

"Not afraid. Just too cool. And you get caught every time."

BlackStar shrugged. Then he quickly put on his clothes and left. Soul counted backwards, "Three…two…one…"

"WHOOOOOOHOOOOO!" shouted BlackStar.

"BLACKSTAR!" shouted the girls as they threw things at him. To Soul's surprise, Tsubaki, fully dressed, walked into the boy's locker room, gripping BlackStar by the collar of his shirt, and tossed him on the ground. "It's not funny BlackStar," she stated. She walked away.

BlackStar turned to Soul and gave him a thumbs up. Soul sighed. He suggested, "Come on BlackStar, that's not cool."

BlackStar's smile faded. "Fine." He stood up. "Next time, I'll spy on Death!" He laughed maniacally. The two of them walked out of the locker room. Soul remembered what Tsubaki had said about how annoying BlackStar could be with the peeking. He casually mentioned, "You ever thought how Tsubaki feels about the invasion of privacy?"

BlackStar answered, "She would have said something if it bothered her. It's kinda like a game."

Soul suggested, "I dunno. Maybe put yourself in her shoes."

BlackStar said, "She's seen me naked plenty of times."

Soul frowned. "What?"

"It happens when you live together," he said as he nudged Soul. "I'm sure you've had your fair share of seeing Maka naked."

Soul blushed. No. That had never happened. Ever. BlackStar looked at him. He guessed, "What, you've never happened to walk in on her showering? Forget to knock on the door before opening it?"

Soul said, "No. Is that a common thing?"

BlackStar nodded. "Yup. Tsubaki never knocks."

"One, that's different from purposely peeking—"

"I think she does it on purpose, but, I'm not complaining," BlackStar added. "I actually find it flattering. And of course, living with a god, I'm sure the poor girl gets curious."

"…"

"What, you think I'm lying?"

"Two," Soul continued, "That's not an inevitable consequence of living together."

BlackStar stopped walking. "So you've never once seen her naked."

"Nope."

"And neither she you?"

"Seen me in the buff? Nope."

BlackStar shook his head. "You're not really close to her then," he decided.

"What? Maka and I are close!" Soul said.

"But there's a deeper level of bonding that occurs when the image of your naked body is burned into the mind of your partner." BlackStar grabbed Soul's shoulders. "You have to do it. You have to see her in her most natural state."

Soul broke free of BlackStar's grasp. "You're an idiot," he claimed. "And you're spouting nonsense."

"But Tsubaki and I are so close. Almost like family. We even share the same futon. How close are you and Maka?"

"We're pretty close. And our friendship doesn't depend on the constant invasion of privacy that you subject Tsubaki to."

BlackStar laughed. "Well, I guess a mortal can only understand to a certain level." He patted Soul on the back.

Later on that day, during class, Soul couldn't help but glance occasionally at Maka. She noticed, and asked, "What's up with you?"

"Nothing," he said.

"You keep looking at me."

"I can look wherever I want."

"Well it's distracting," she told him.

"That's too bad," he replied. She rolled her eyes, and returned her attention to class. Soul stared at her. Maka tried to ignore him, but she felt like she was being monitored by Soul, and it was uncomfortable. She asked again, "Soul, what?"

He answered, "Nothing." He leaned his head on his hand and turned away. Maka exhaled, and tried to pay attention. Soul didn't look at her again, but now she couldn't help but glance his way every so often. She sighed. He had this way of making her think too hard about what he was thinking. Why was he staring at her? Ugh, boys could be so frustrating!

He should just say what he was thinking. After class, Maka asked Soul, "What were you thinking?"

Soul responded, "I was wondering, what are those?" he said as he pointed to her shoes.

Maka blushed. "Soul you're horrible!" _For two reasons_ , Maka thought, _one—you're picking on me using something that I confided in you—and two—you're not telling me what's wrong_.

He chuckled to himself. Maka persisted, probing him with, "For real though, what's up? You've been acting strange and I don't like it."

"Nah, it's nothing to worry about," he said.

"You never tell me anything," Maka complained. "You're so distant sometimes."

"Distant?" Soul repeated. "Hey, Maka, do you think we're close friends?"

Maka nodded. Soul smiled. Maka smiled. She felt her face get hot. Why was she blushing? Was it because Soul was smiling that cool smile? That half-smirk that she really liked? Or was it because he'd sort of mentioned something that was on his mind…? UGH! He drove her insane sometimes. If he really cared about her, he'd confide in her as much as she did him.

"But you don't tell me your problems," Maka said. "And that's what close friends do."

Soul nodded. "Kay," was his simple reply.

"So, I ask again, what's bothering you?"

"Those," he said, pointing again to her shoes.

She groaned. Once again, she thought he'd open up, but he'd just insulted her.

"But for real though," Soul began, surprising her, "BlackStar said something stupid, and I was thinking about it."

"Was it about me?" Maka asked pointing to herself.

"Nah."

She could tell that he was lying. "Then why were you looking at me?"

"Because you happened to be in my way when I was staring off into space."

"…" Maka pouted. Soul smiled. Maka smiled. Oh well, he'd said enough for one day.

Later that evening, Soul was making dinner. He was chopping up veggies when Maka called out from her room, "Is dinner gonna be ready soon?"

"Give me a sec you glutton," he answered.

"I just wanted to know so I could take a shower douchebag," she said.

"Take your shower."

"Fine," she said.

Soul heard her go into the restroom. A few minutes later, he heard the shower start. Soul thought about BlackStar's advice. Usually, the guy was surprisingly right about life advice. Like the time he'd given Soul advice about how to cheer Maka up when Soul had pissed her off… or how to deal with his inferiority complex to his brother… or how to finally break his bad habit of taking Tumblr comments too seriously… but advising Soul to peek on Maka. Nah…

…

…

Soul walked toward the bathroom. He reached out for the doorknob. He turned it slightly. Maka didn't even lock it.

That must mean that Maka trusts him.

He let go of the doorknob and sighed. Nah, BlackStar and Tsubaki had their own understood boundaries (as small as they may be) and they got along with those. Soul and Maka, nah, their relationship was a bit different. He couldn't break that boundary of trust. He turned around to return to the kitchen.

"You naughty boy," Blair teased. She giggled as she wrapped her body around him, and buried his head in her bosom. "I saw you, you naughty boy. If you wanna see a woman, come play with Blair!"

"Stop it you witch-cat!" He complained.

The next day, BlackStar didn't come to school. Maka asked Tsubaki about it during lunch.

"He got suspended for a week for violating the school's new sexual harassment policy," Tsubaki explained. "He was all like, 'I can do whatever I want, I'm a god in human form' and whatnot, but he's suspended. And he has to do online awareness training." Tsubaki sighed. "I hope he's doing it now."

Maka nodded. "Serves him right." She was so glad that Soul wasn't a peeking tom. She'd be really furious if he was.


	9. Kid gets to Decorate

Kid gets to Decorate

"Oi!" cheered Death.

"Hello Father," Kid replied.

"Guess what son!?" he cheered.

"Yes Father?"

The two, along with Liz, Patty and Spirit, were in Death's room, with the floating clouds in the background.

He cleared his throat. "As a future Shinigami, I'm thinking that you need to learn to take more responsibilities."

"BS," Spirit mumbled to himself. "He just doesn't want to do it himself."

Death overheard and threatened to chop him. Spirit backed away. Death returned his gaze to Kid, "The rooms of the school need to be repurposed in order to update and meet state standards. After a lot of thinking, I've decided…that the chairperson of this project should be none other than the future Shinigami himself. This will eventually be your school—"

Kid began to cry. Patty laughed. Liz chuckled a little.

Death patted him on the shoulder. "There, there! No fuss! No tears Son! If you didn't want to do it, I'll just find another—"

Kid declared, "NO! I'M HONORED!"

Death beamed in happiness. Yeah! He was off the hook!

"Son, this is a very important responsibility, essential for the maintenance of honor and excellence of our school," Death said. "And accreditation."

"Father, I won't let you down!"

Death handed Kid a folder. "These are the most recent building codes and requirements. Study this hard, son, and bring DWMA into excellence."

Kid smiled, determined. He nodded.

That whole day and night, Kid studied the papers in the folders. The next day, the first thing that kid did was to form a committee whom he could rely on. He called this committee the OHO; mostly because the acronym was symmetric. It didn't mean anything actually.

His committee consisted of Liz and Patty (of course), Kim and Jackie, Ox, Harvar, Tsubaki, Maka and Janitor Boi. Janitor Boi, a longtime veteran of sanitization and upkeep of DWMA, served as his top advisor. Death suggested that Kid begin by redesigning the basement to meet the requirements of the state. Other than that, Death gave no further instruction. Kid took this to be a test of his leadership capability, as well as a test of his creativity and problem solving abilities. Sure, he'd proven himself during the battle of the moon, but what about the leadership of DWMA?

Yes, his father picked the perfect task with which to challenge him. "Greetings, committee," Kid said. "By now you know that we're trying to make some updates to DWMA's building. This will require tedious planning. It will require precision. It will require perfection. I've begun drafting a new design for the basement." He pulled up a powerpoint presentation on his laptop, connected it to a projector, and began presenting a slideshow. "So, currently DWMA has several rooms on the basement floor, which has a layout of a dungeon. If we were to demolish several walls that are not weight-bearing, and symmetrically replace them…blah…blah…blah…"

As Kid talked, Tsubaki unintentionally tuned him out. She ended up thinking, _I wonder what BlackStar is doing right now. He must be so bored, being suspended from school. Well I told him to stop peeking or else I'd complain. I didn't know they'd suspend him. Is he upset with me? He didn't seem like it._ Tsubaki happened to glance at Maka. She was taking notes. _She's quite interested in this isn't she? Then again, Maka wouldn't join anything that she's not ready to invest her whole effort in. I'm only doing this because Kid begged me to join. Why did he care so much about having an even number of girls?_

"And that's our initial game plan," Kid concluded. "Any questions?"

Maka raised her hand, "What if the walls you intend to knock out are weight bearing?"

"I checked; they aren't."

Maka nodded. "Are you absolutely sure? Because the last thing we need is to damage infrastructure."

Kidd frowned. "Maka, does it look like I'm an idiot?"

Janitor Boi added his professional opinion. "It's definitely safe."

Maka nodded. "Okay. This should be fun then."

So the committee began planning and preparing and organizing for the redecoration. Maka and Tsubaki ordered the supplies while Kid and Janitor Boi contacted handymen and construction workers. Kim and Ox flirted while Liz and Patty stood around and did absolutely nothing. That left Jackie and Harvar with the task of measuring the area and marking walls to be destroyed.

As they made calls to the supply company to get estimates for the prices of supplies, Maka asked, "Hey Tsubaki, wanna go shopping with me on Sunday?"

Tsubaki replied, "Sure. What's the occasion?"

"Family dinner. I want to look nice."

Tsubaki nodded. "Okay. Sounds fun."

Maka shook her head. "You'd be surprised."

At the end of the meeting, Kid and Janitor boy called the committee together to discuss their findings. Maka reported, "So according to the estimates that Tsubaki and I got, the materials for the project would cost around $20000."

Kid's face contorted in disgust. Liz asked, "Is that too expensive?"

Kid nodded his head as he grumbled, "That number is so unsymmetrical. And our entire budget is $30000, another asymmetric number."

Maka complained, "You're the one who wanted fancy tile flooring and a theater room in the student lounge. Tsubaki and I struggled to find the lowest quotes."

Kid shrugged it off. "I'll demand a more money from father. A more symmetric number."

Patty chirped in, "Hey, Kid, if you fold 30000 it in half horizontally, it's symmetric."

Kid stared at her. His thought process was this.

30000.

30000.

Top = Bottom.

Then he blushed. Then he smiled. "You're right!" He rushed to her and hugged her. The he picked her up around her waist and spun around with her. "You're right! I love you!"

Liz commented, "That's a dumb reason to fall in love."

Kid set Patty down and straightened his shirt collar. Kid announced, "We're keeping the budget. Seeing that the labor will cost us about $10000, we'll have to cut our costs somewhere." Kid smiled deviously. "Meet me here tomorrow, afterschool. Prepare to work hard."

The next afternoon, the OHO committee met up in the DWMA basement. Kid handed each of them a sledge hammer. Tsubaki, quite alarmed by Kid's actions, asked him, "You're not about to ask us to break down the walls ourselves?"

Patty repeatedly lifted her sledgehammer in the air while chanting, "Break 'em break 'em break 'em down!"

Kid explained, "It'll save us a lot of money."

Patty laughed. Liz set her sledgehammer on the floor and leaned against it. "I'll supervise."

Kim replied, "No, you're just lazy."

Liz ignored her and pointed to the wall beside her. "Swing, nice and easy. Break it down gently."

Kim rolled her eyes. But they all set to work, and Patty caused enough collateral damage for both her and her sister. As Ox and Patty were working on the last wall, Tsubaki glanced at the floor plan. She mentioned, "I think that wall is weight bearing."

"It can't be weight bearing," Kid said.

Tsubaki shrugged, because she was not about to argue since she was tired. She stepped to the side, just in case, and checked her cellphone messages. Blackstar texted her about picking up groceries before she came home. Tsubaki scowled. He was home. Why couldn't he do it? She was about to text him back when Liz approached Tsubaki and asked, "Hey, Tsubaki, are you good at writing papers?"

Tsubaki shrugged. "Good enough I guess. Why?"

"Would you help me write that paper for Marie's class?"

"Sure."

"Cool. I haven't started. Maybe this weekend you can help? How does Sunday sound?"

"That's cool."

They heard Ox scream and the sound of a wall toppling own. Liz and Patty turned around to see Patty point and laugh at Ox. Liz walked toward her, chiding her, "Patty don't laugh at other's pain and misfortune."

They helped Ox and Kim healed him up.

The next day, the supplies began to arrive and the builders started re-tiling the floor. Liz oversaw their work. Kid met with the committee to discuss the efforts. "So the center is the student lounge, and there will be six classrooms on either side of the student lounge. In between each classroom there will be an insignia of death adorning the walls. In each classroom there will be 36 chairs, arranged in a 6 by 6 grid—"

Maka raised her hand and interrupted, "We agreed on 25 chairs arranged in a 5 by 5 grid."

Kid gave her an evil glare. "So you're saying that we don't have enough chairs?"

Then Liz barged in, declaring, "Hey, Kid, turns out there's really poisonous mold growing on some parts of the floor and we need to hire professionals to clean it up."

Kid groaned. Janitor Boi said, "I'm sure my crew and I can handle the mold."

So Janitor Boi rounded up his best staff and suited up and attacked the mold.

The following day, the committee repainted the walls. He, Ox, Harvar, Kim and Janitor Boi split up from the rest to paint one half of the wall. Patty, Liz, Maka, Tsubaki, and Jackie split up to paint the other side of the wall.

Upon finishing the final layers of coat, the committee stood back and admired their work. That's when Kid realized something. He was horrified to see that the walls were two slightly different shades of light blue. Everyone realized it at the same time. They all looked at each other in disbelief. Tsubaki, always the optimist, suggested, "Well maybe we put too many coats of paint on one side?"

Kim answered, "We put a base coat and two coats of blue."

Tsubaki cringed. "We did too. BUT, maybe it'll dry the same color! Or maybe it's the weird lighting down here."

So the next day, they returned to see that the walls had dried into two completely different shades of blue. One side was light blue and one side was turquoise blue. Kid huddled up in a corner and moped. Patty laughed at him. Jackie asked Kim and Ox, "When you picked up the paint, you did pick up the same type of paint, right?"

Kim nodded. "Yeah, color 33E."

Ox blushed. "You said 33E? I thought you said 33V."

Jackie hit both of them on the head. "I said 33B!"

Kid meanwhile wallowed in embarrassment and shame. "I'm a disgrace," he muttered to himself. Patty took the liberty of doodling on the walls with the extra paint. So the committee decided to focus on arranging the furniture. Maka had ordered more chairs. Unfortunately, the extra chairs didn't fit in the room.

Harvar commented, "Yeah, these rooms are only big enough to place a square of 5 rows of 5 chairs in them."

Maka struggled not to say _I told you so_. Kid knew that she wanted to say it though. They put the extra chairs in the hallway while they decided what to do with 66 extra chairs.

"The room can hold 5 rows of 6," Jackie suggested. "That means we can add five more chairs to each of the 6 rooms and get rid of 30 chairs from this hallway."

Kid shook his head. "Unsymmetrical."

Harvar tried to explain, "I think we shouldn't prioritize symmetry when we have a bunch of extra—"

Kid punched him in the gut. "Blasphemy."

At this rate, they'd never finish redecorating the basement, let alone the entire school.


	10. Tsubaki explains Netflix and Chill

Tsubaki explains Netflix and Chill

"Maka," Soul called out. He was chilling on the sofa, sprawled out, eating potato chips.

"Hmm?" Maka replied, as she sat on the armrest.

"My stupid brother finally gave me his Netflix password," he said.

Maka shrugged. "So what?"

"We now have Netflix."

"Cool." She shrugged.

"We have access to hours of television and movies at the tip of our fingertips."

Maka shrugged. "We don't have hours of time to waste at our fingertips."

Soul groaned. "Maka, you can afford to chill for one night. It's Friday. All that redecoration nonsense has you stressed out. Come on. Come on."

Maka sighed. "Fine, fine. We can Netflix and Chill," she agreed.

Soul blushed. He knew what Maka meant, but he should probably explain the slang term…

"YOU NAUGHTY BOY!" said Blair as she waltzed into the room in cat form.

"Shut up Blair," Soul said. She turned into her human form and sat on his lap. "Can I join Netflix and Chill?"

"NO!" Soul said as he shooed her away.

Maka asked, "We can make it a small get together. Should I invite Tsubaki and Black Star?"

Soul shrugged. "Why not? Sure, but—"

Blair thrust her body on top of Soul's body, so he was distracted by her sexual harassment while Maka made the phone call. BlackStar answered, "HI YOU'VE REACHED THE RESIDENCE OF A GOD—" He cleared his throat. "Hello?"

"BlackStar?" Maka asked.

BlackStar replied, "Yes, this is he. Whom may I ask is calling?"

"Hi, it's Maka. You answered the phone like you're not crazy, sort of," Maka said.

BlackStar nodded. "Of course! Tsubaki's been teaching me the ways of humans."

Maka realized that BlackStar was serious about the normality thing. "That's…nice. Do you and Tsubaki wanna come over for some Netflix and chill?"

BlackStar dropped the phone. He turned to Tsubaki, who was sitting at the table, doing something on her laptop. BlackStar said, "Maka just invited us to Netflix and chill."

Tsubaki calmly said, "She probably doesn't know what it means. She doesn't follow memes."

"OH!" BlackStar said. He picked up the phone and shouted, "YEAH SURE WHEN?"

"You don't need to shout into the phone, BlackStar," she said.

He nodded, and complained, "Being human is annoying."

Tsubaki laughed a little. "Yeah, that's how it is."

Maka turned to Soul, who was struggling to crawl out of Blair's cleavage. Maka shouted, "What time, Soul, you pervert?"

BlackStar dropped the phone. Tsubaki warned him, "You're going to break the phone."

BlackStar picked it up and covered the mouthpiece, "Yeah, you're right, I forgot that although I'm acting normal, my godliness doesn't disappear. But she asked Soul," he began to mock Maka, "What time you pervert?"

Tsubaki blushed. "She can't really be asking us to a four way Netflix and chill."

"I could handle you both, but Soul might feel left out," BlackStar said.

Tsubaki laughed nervously. He seemed so serious when he said that. "Just ask her if she really means Netflix and chill."

Maka pried Blair off of Soul and hit Soul on the head. Soul complained, "What did I do? I'm the victim here! It's a cruel double standard!"

Maka asked, "What time for Netflix and chill?"

Soul complained, "Don't call it that! People might take it the wrong way. Call it… I dunno, a kickback. Get together. Hangout."

Maka was confused. How could anyone take that the wrong way? It's as literal as it gets. Watch Netflix and chill with your buddies. "But what time Soul?"

"I dunno. If they're free tonight, we could go ahead."

Blair jumped on him again. "Go ahead and do what Big Boy?" Blair asked.

Maka rolled her eyes and said into the phone, "Would you be free tonight?"

BlackStar asked, "What do you mean by Netflix and chill?"

Maka was surprised. Soul… he must have some kind of… extra perception? "Like a four-person hangout."

BlackStar covered the mouthpiece of the phone. "She said a four-person hangout."

"A four-way?!" Tsubaki repeated.

BlackStar asked, "You want a four-way?"

How could she express it any clearer? "If that's what you want to call it."

BlackStar said, "She said if that's what I want to call it."

Tsubaki gently closed her laptop, stood up and took the phone from BlackStar. Tsubaki asked, "Wait, Maka, what are you inviting us to do?"

Maka didn't understand why this was so confusing. "Soul's brother gave him the password for his Netflix account. Let's come over to our place and watch Netflix, and hangout. I'll make popcorn."

"Oh," Tsubaki said. She turned to BlackStar. "She meant watch Netflix and actually hangout."

BlackStar frowned. "So…no four-way?"

"Why…do you sound upset about that?"

Maka answered, "About what?"

"No, sorry I was talking to BlackStar," Tsubaki answered. "Sure we'd like to come."

"Cool," Maka replied.

"By the way…" Tsubaki added. "Um, when you say Netflix and chill, it's slang for… um… hook-up."

"That's what we're doing, right?" Maka asked.

"Wait, what? I thought we were actually going to watch a movie on Netflix."

"Yeah. Like meet up and watch a movie on Netflix."

"That's not the same as _hook_ -up."

"…" Maka was lost.

Tsubaki gave up and said, "I'll lay it bluntly. There's an internet meme that's going around, like, Netflix and chill doesn't really mean Netflix and chill anymore. It's like a euphemism for 'let's meet up and have a fling.'"

"Yeah," Maka said. "Like a little party."

"No, like sex. Sexual fling."

Maka blushed. "WHAT?!"

BlackStar began to ask, "What?! Did she change her mind?!"

"BLACKSTAR!" Tsubaki called out.

Soul finally fought Blair off. He asked, "Are they coming over?"

Maka threw the phone at him. "You just let me ask them that!?"

"Ask what?!"

"Netflix and chill!" Maka said as she stormed into her room.

Soul shouted, "I told your dumbass not to say it like that!"

Maka shouted, "How was I supposed to know! It had a nice ring to it!" She groaned. "Why do all the cool phrases have some kind of innuendo?" She covered her face. "This is worse than the time my dad thought I said that I _get_ _ **it on**_ _well with you._ "

This was the first time Soul had heard of this. He did a double take. "WHAT?"

"I said _get_ _ **along**_ _well with you_! His dirty, lecherous mind made him hear shit that no one even said!"

BlackStar's voice blasted from the phone, "SO ARE WE WATCHING A MOVIE OR NOT?!"

Maka shouted, "No!"

Soul picked up the phone, "Come on over." He hung up. He called out, "I'm going to order a pizza for dinner, kay?"

Maka asked, "What does _that_ mean in slang?!"

Soul answered, "It means shut the f*ck up and get over it, and what toppings do you want?"

"You know I only like cheese!"

Blair laughed. Soul pointed at her. "You planned that out."

Blair shrugged and winked at him. "Nope. But it was funny."

Meanwhile, BlackStar told Tsubaki, "I think we're still invited." He went to his room. He called out, "Should I bring the protection, in case we do end up chilling with that Netflix?"

"BLACKSTAR NO!" Tsubaki shouted.


	11. Patty Does Some Recon

Patty Does some Recon

"Patty go to sleep," Liz said as she barged into Patty's room late one morning. It was 4am and Patty was still on the computer.

Patty shook her head. "I'm doing a project."

"Is it due tomorrow?" Liz asked as she yawned. "Because even if it is, f*ck that shit and go to sleep."

"I'll go to sleep Big Sis," Patty acquiesced.

Liz shrugged. "Alright." She turned around to leave. "But if I wake up for another bathroom break and you're still up, then I'm knocking you out."

"Kay."

"Night."

"Goodnight."

Liz left. Patty continued to search on the internet. The next morning, Liz found her asleep on top of Kid's laptop. Liz poked her. Patty stirred awake. Liz took Kid's laptop. "Kid needs this back."

Patty grumbled and walked to her bed and fell asleep. She woke up later in the afternoon. She took a shower and brushed her teeth and grabbed some cereal. As she was eating her Captain Crunch, Kid walked into the kitchen and asked, "You think that we should just repaint the entire basement wall or just pick one side and match the paint with the other?"

Patty shrugged.

"You okay? You seem upset."

Patty nodded. "Just woke up."

Kid glanced at his watch. "It's 3pm."

Patty nodded. "That's nice."

Kid shrugged it off as an off day for Patty, and he went on about his business. After a bowl of cereal, Patty went back to sleep. She had to be well rested for tonight.

She set her alarm for midnight.

At midnight, she awoke to a song that she found particularly annoying. Rebecca Black's _Friday._ Even when the alarm was at its lowest setting, this song could wake her up. She sat up and silenced the alarm. "Thank you Becky," Patty said as she yawned. She then reached under her bed and changed into a black, jumpsuit. She realized that she should have eaten more than a bowl of cereal this morning, because she was really hungry. So she went downstairs, raided the fridge and warmed up some leftovers. Then she sat down and ate. Then she stuck the plates in the dishwasher and washed her hands. She checked the time on her phone.

12:45am.

Still plenty of time. She walked into the living room. As usual, Kid kept his skateboard in his skateboard holder near the front door. She borrowed it. She zoomed away into the night sky. Patty arrived in the Brooklyn by 1:37am. She landed in front of the Brooklyn Central Police Department Building. She began walking up the front steps, but realized that she probably shouldn't do that.

So she rode the skateboard to the top of the roof. She searched for an entrance into the building. Luckily, there was air conditioning unit thing on the roof. She pulled up a map of the inside of the building on her cellphone. She squinted. Why was this thing so bright?

Then she opened up the AC unit and crawled in. She shuffled down until she ended up in what seemed like an office. She searched for a light switch.

The room lit up. She looked around and found out that she was in Lt. Canapa's office, room 202. She giggled to herself. Canapa. Haha. Patty glanced at her phone. She needed to get to the third floor. Room 327, the evidence room. She left the office.

Oops. She backtracked and turned off the light. She wasn't good at this.

"HOLD IT!" she heard someone scream. Patty turned toward the sound. But she couldn't see anything. She flashed her cellphone at the person. It was a person in a black jumpsuit. Holding a gun. Patty ducked as the person let loose a round of ammunition. She rolled toward him and kicked him so that he fell forward. She reached up as he fell and snatched the gun from his hand. Then she rolled away. Armed with a gun, and guided by the light of her insanely bright cellphone screen, she demanded, "Who are you and why are you here?"

"Look, I'm after Lt. Canapa! Not you!" replied the unknown assailant. Patty didn't know the situation. She didn't care to get involved. Who knows, maybe this Canapa was a bad dude. She backed away and ran upstairs. She needed to get to room 327 quickly.

She made it to room 327 and kicked the door. She kicked really hard because she meant to kick the door down. But it swung open easily and she rolled into the room.

Shit. There were six armed men in the room. She could tell because they each had flashlights. They all pointed the flashlights at her. She froze.

"Franky? Franky the f*ck? Whatcha kicking down the door for?" asked one person.

"You almost got glocked," replied another, motioning to his automatic rifle. "Dammit Franky, that's why we don't bring you with us on these sort of things."

A third person asked, "So what was that weird light we saw? And that noise? Did ya fire ya gun Franky?"

Franky must've been the person she'd disarmed. Why had she pick a popular day to break into a police headquarters? Patty tried to mimic that Franky guy, "Nuthin."

"Alright then," said the fourth guy.

"Told ya," said the second guy.

"Let's just get the evidence and go," replied the fifth guy.

They heard footsteps. Another person ran into the room. It was Franky. He yelled, "There's another person here!"

Gunshots rang out. Patty dropped down low and crawled to a corner, behind a table. After a couple of seconds, the shots died out. Someone flipped on the lights. The entire room was bathed in light. One person laid on the floor bleeding.

"Franky!" the others called out. They rushed to their fallen comrade. They didn't see Patty. Great! Now all she had to do was get out of here—

"Who are you!" shouted someone as they pointed their gun at Patty.

"F*ck," she exclaimed. Patty stood up and pointed her gun at them. "Who's bullet do you think is faster punk?" she asked.

The guy hesistated. Patty shot him in the arm. He dropped his gun and she jumped over the table, grabbed his rifle and yelled, "The rest of you get down, or else I'll do you like I did your friend over there."

She was bluffing of course. She didn't shoot Franky. It was a lucky coincidence that these guys were trigger happy.

"You killed Franky!" the third guy sobbed. "My only brother! Franky!"

Patty lowered her gun, shocked, "Aw damn, he's dead?"

The third guy quickly shot Patty. She had a quick enough reaction time to dodge, so that he got her in the shoulder, not the chest. The impact knocked her back to the ground. She winced in pain. The third guy approached her, pointed the gun in her face and laughed.

"You fool, I'm not related to Franky. I f*cking hate Franky. We all hated Franky. We were planning to kill him tonight anyway!" The guys all laughed. "And I guess you'll die here too."

Patty stared at the barrel of the gun pointed right at her. She tensed, closed her eyes and turned away. She heard a series of gunshots. She winced. A second later, she was still alive. She then opened her eyes to see that she wasn't hurt. In fact, in front of her was standing Kid, who had shot all the enemies with Liz.

The guys laid on the floor, knocked out by the wavelength bullets. Kid then turned to Patty. Liz became her human form.

"Patty!" Liz screamed. "I woke up to potty and then I checked up on you and you weren't there! You're lucky that your cellphone has a GPS tracker or else—Patty your arm!"

"I've had worse," Patty said as she grabbed her arm.

Kid inspected the wound. He winced. "Well, good thing there's a hospital nearby."

Liz hugged her sister. "What the actual f*ck Patty!?"

Patty laughed it off. "I'm okay, really!"

Liz slapped her.

Kid stared at them.

Patty rubbed her face with the hand attached to the shoulder that wasn't in pain.

Kid said, "Maybe we should go to the hospital—"

Liz shook her head. "Not until she explains why she was here in the first place."

Patty looked away. "Seeing Torch again made me think about her."

Liz's eyes widened. "You don't mean…"

"Yes. Tifa."

Kid interjected. "Who's Tifa? And you never explained to me who Torch was."

Liz shushed him. Kid rolled his eyes. Liz asked, "What about Tifa?"

Patty answered, "I started looking for her again. Maybe she survived that day. Maybe she was okay."

Liz gently stroked Patty's face. "Tifa's dead. That day at the bank. You saw what Torch did to her."

"No! If Torch survived, then Tifa survived!"

Kid was at a loss for words.

Patty shook her head. "I saw newspaper clippings. They still have her."

"Who?" Liz interrogated.

"Them. Here. She's here. She's in that evidence closet."

"…" Liz looked heartbroken. "Are you sure?"

Patty nodded. Kid tried to process what he'd just heard.

Liz stood up and slowly approached the closet.

She took a deep breath.

She slowly opened it.

Liz gasped. Kid and Patty stared at her as she stared at the closet.

Liz reached into the closet and pulled out a teddybear.

"Wow! They kept her after all these years!" Liz exclaimed, genuinely surprised.

Patty, filled with so much joy that her bleeding arm was the last thing her brain had time to pay attention to, literally flew toward Liz and hugged her and the teddybear, all while screaming, "TIFA! LADY TIFA! YOU'RE OKAY!"

Kid gaped at them. "Are you f*cking kidding me?" he swore. "You mean this was all for a teddy bear!?" he shouted.

Patty ignored him, and cuddled the bear as if it was the most precious thing in the world. Liz explained, "To anyone else, it's just a stupid teddy bear. For Patty, it means something special."

Kid questioned her with his eyes. She continued, "You see, the day we were abandoned on the streets, our mother took us to a playground. She gave that bear to Patty and gave us each a kiss and said that she'd be back soon to pick us up." Liz sighed. "She never came back."

Kid lowered his eyes, saddened.

Liz added, "And Patty held on to that teddy bear like the hope that one day we'd see her again. That she would explain why she did what she did, and that it was all a big misunderstanding. Like, I don't know, what if she got mugged and got amnesia and didn't remember who she was, much less the fact that she had kids." Liz counted on her fingers as she speculated what could have happened, "Or, what if she was spirited away by demons? Or what if she got into a tragic car accident that killed her? Or what if she was kidnapped and has spent years trying to break free so that she could see us? You know, things like that happen."

Kid didn't know how to reply. The Thompson sisters had a knack for getting really morbid really quickly. And they would say these things really nonchalantly.

"Anyway," Liz continued, "Patty loves that teddy bear."

"What does that have to do with the arsonist and all these people?" Kid asked.

"Oh, Slovinsky? Yeah, that punk. So we were out on the streets, and we knew we needed to find a crew to roll with. Because we were weapons, we joined the Flame Crew, which was headed by Slovinsky, aka Torch. We were okay with him for a while. But then he did something unthinkable." Liz paused.

Kid was eager to know. "What?!"

"We were planning a bank heist. Nothing serious. Just gonna steal an ATM machine. But we got caught. To distract the cops, Torch grabbed Patty's bear and threw it at them."

Kid made a WTF face.

"I know, right! Why would he do that?" Liz exclaimed. "He's a freaking flamethrower! Torch the cops!" She sighed. "But yeah, the cops were so distracted by the bear that our crew was able to get away with the ATM machine."

Kid just shook his head slowly, contorting his face in a WTF manner. They got away with the ATM. How distracting could a bear be?

Patty chimed in, "They thought the bear was a bomb."

"Why?" Kid asked.

"He yelled, 'Imma throw a bomb!' and threw the bear," Patty clarified.

…

…

That made perfect sense. Kid mumbled, "Genius…"

Patty concluded the story. "I was so mad that I killed Torch—or so I thought, stole the ATM machine and Liz and I left."

At least she also took the ATM machine.

"Looking back at it…" Patti laughed. "I should've known that a couple maltov cocktails wouldn't kill Torch."

Kid repeated, for clarification, "You threw maltov cocktails at him…?"

Liz reminded her, "At the moment, they seemed like a good idea. They were the closest things that we could get to bombs."

Patti nodded. "Yeah, and I was so intent on blowing him up because apparently Lady Tifa is a bomb." Patti pinched the bear's cheek. "Aren't you Lady Tifa?" Patti smiled. Liz smiled. Kid, although quite flabbergasted by the root of the entire incident, also smiled. If Patty and Liz were happy, then why shouldn't he be?

"And these people?" Kid asked. Liz shrugged. Patty shrugged. Kid didn't know what to do. He looked around. He pointed at Franky. "Holy shit is he okay?"

"Nah, he's dead," Patty said.

Liz walked toward him and kicked his dead body. "Yup, he's done for." She turned to Patty. "Did you kill him?"

"Nope. His friends accidently shot him while trying to shoot me."

"Aw, that sucks," Liz said as she giggled a little. "But yeah, Patty, we should really go to the hospital."

Patty glanced at her arm. She was losing a lot of blood. "Oh yeah," she agreed. "Carry me!" she begged. Liz picked her up and carried her in her arms, while saying, "Hey, Kid, can you call the cops and then come to the hospital with us? Because, haha, you know I can't pay that bill. Haha." She and Patty laughed and left. Kid frowned at the mess around him.

That's when it hit him. "I actually like red as a better color for the walls of the basement…" he decided.


	12. Liz discovers BBC

Liz discovers BBC

It was a bright and beautiful Sunday morning. Tsubaki looked at herself in the mirror in the living room, while she pinned her hair into a bun as she chewed on a granola bar.

"Morning," BlackStar said, as he walked into the room, wearing nothing but boxers.

Tsubaki nodded to him, since her mouth was full and her hands were busy.

He asked, "Where're you going?" as he stretched.

"Out with Maka," Tsubaki answered, after she swallowed her mouthful of granola bar. She watched him stretch. "Don't forget your calves BlackStar."

"I'm getting there," he said as he leaned backwards. "Have fun."

"Thanks."

She then grabbed her purse and left. BlackStar began to do 1-finger push-ups: 100 on each finger. Then he did 150 regular pushups. Then he stacked several 50-lb weights on his back and did 150 more push-ups. Then he opened the window, and sat on the windowsill. He leaned back and started doing the world's most dangerous sit-ups. The lady who lived in the apartment below them was hanging her laundry on the lines.

"Goodmorning BlackStar," she said as BlackStar did his sit ups.

"Good morning Mrs. Fey," BlackStar said, as he leaned back and up and back and up. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Still worried about my husband."

"As usual. He still travels a lot for work?"

"Yeah. It takes such a toll on him." She shook her head. "And Ella doesn't see him as often as she would like."

"How's Ella doing?"

"She's pretty good. She doesn't eat her veggies though," the woman sighed.

"Really? Let me talk to her."

"Ella!" Mrs. Fey called out. "BlackStar wants to say hi."

A little girl ran toward the windowsill. "BlackStar?" the little girl called out.

"Hey Ella. You don't eat your vegetables?" he asked.

Ella shook her head.

"How do you expect to become a god like me if you don't eat veggies?"

"…I'm sorry BlackStar."

"Don't be sorry. Eat your veggies girl."

"Okay."

"And listen to your mom. And stay in school."

Ella nodded. "I'm gonna be a strong meister like you one day!"

"That's right, but you can only dream if you don't eat your veggies."

Ella sighed. "Fine."

Mrs. Fey stroked her daughter's cheek. "By the way BlackStar, I made pie. Come over if you want some."

BlackStar nodded. "Sure. Just got to finish my morning stretches. See you later." He sat up and stepped back into his apartment. Just as he did, there was a knock on the door. BlackStar answered it. To his surprise, it was Liz.

"Sup," Liz said, as she waved to him and entered the house.

"Why are you here?" BlackStar asked.

"Tsubaki said she'd help me with my paper," Liz said.

"What paper?" BlackStar asked.

"The one that Marie-senpai assigned," Liz explained. "She's trying this new curriculum thing. It's due Monday."

"When did she assign it?"

"A week ago."

"Oh, I was suspended. Dammit," BlackStar cursed. "OH WELL! A GOD LIKE ME DOESN'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE ON STUPID PAPERS!" BlackStar laughed.

"Why'd you suddenly get so loud?" Liz asked. "And where's Tsubaki?"

"She went out with Maka."

"She forgot!" Liz whined. "Ugh, now what am I going to do?"

"Just start on it without her. I'll help you," BlackStar said.

"Really? You're a dunce. How could you help me?"

"I'm really smart," BlackStar said. "It's just beyond your human understanding."

"Oh really?" Liz rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll take it. Do you want to go to a library or something?"

"Nah, use Tsubaki's computer. She won't mind," BlackStar said. He pointed at Tsubaki's laptop, which was sitting on the small table in the center of the room.

"Really? Thanks," Liz said. She sat down on her knees and opened the laptop. "It's locked."

"Her password is Tsubaki, with a capital T, then a less than sign and a three, as if she's making a heart symbol, and the capital letters BBC."

Liz raised her eyebrows as she typed it in. "That's an interesting password," Liz mentioned.

"Apparently she loves the British Broadcasting Channel. She's always watching Sherlock or something like that. And Dr. Who. I dunno." He shrugged. "You can get started, and ask if you need help." BlackStar sat down across from her at the table, with his legs criss-crossed. He closed his eyes and clasped his hands, in intense focus. Slowly, he began to levitate.

Liz stared at him.

Maybe this kid really was a god.

Like… was he seriously floating?

Liz decided to ignore him. She plugged in her head phones into the laptop and opened up YouTube on one tab, and started her music video playlist. On the other tabs, she googled, "What is Soul Resonance?" Several websites popped up. She glanced through the first one, and proceeded to copy and paste sections of the website into a new word document that she had pulled up. She did the same for several more websites and the few google scholar articles that popped up. Once she had 1932 words, she began formatting the paper. She set the font of the whole paper to times new romans, 12 pt. And she styled the paragraphs, added a header, and bam. She had a paper.

But that's not all. She added a title page.

Elizabeth Thompson

Applications of Soul Resonance 2002

What is Soul Resonance? A Reflective Essay

Thinking of that title took her five minutes. Why was writing an essay so difficult? She'd been at it for over thirty minutes, and she still wasn't done! She had to go through and rearrange sentences, and change a few adjectives here and there…

She did that. Forty-five minutes in, Liz felt like she had a pretty presentable paper. She skimmed through her masterpiece. Looked like it made sense. She was expecting a C- or maybe a D. All she needed was to pass. She double checked the rubric. It looked like she hit all the main points…

Dammit.

In big, black, bold font, it said, "Any paper without a references page will be given a grade of zero."

Liz sighed. Now she had to go back and cite a couple of the websites she'd used! Ugh, this was too much work. She opened up the history, so that she could pick the most respectable looking websites to cite. She meant to click on a specific website, but she accidentally clicked the one before it.

To her surprise, the link took her to a very interesting website.

Very interesting.

"What's… this…" Liz said to herself. "www. yoaimust .com …?"

Liz scrolled through the website. She blushed. Then she gasped. So this is what Tsubaki does in her free time! According to the history, Tsubaki was just on it this morning, at 2am. Liz giggled and imagined sweet, innocent Tsubaki, secretly enjoying this website in the wee hours of the morning.

Liz scrolled through the pictures and gifs and videos… Liz's eyes widened. Wow. Some… some of this was quite intense. She licked her lips as she intently stared at the computer screen.

"You alright there Liz?" BlackStar asked, as he approached her. Liz quickly minimized the site.

"Yeah," she said. "Just citing my sources."

BlackStar looked over her shoulders, onto the computer screen. "You seem really focused," BlackStar noticed as he glanced over her paper. "Take a break if you have to."

"I just really want to get this done today," Liz said.

"Take your time," BlackStar said. "Tsubaki's gonna probably be out all day today with Maka. I don't think she'll mind." He walked away. "I'm gonna take a shower. If you need me, just call upon my name in prayer."

"Sure, sure," Liz said, hoping that he'd disappear so that she could get back to the website. Once BlackStar left, Liz pulled up the website again, and started browsing through it once more. "Wow…" Liz mumbled. She was so focused on the site that she didn't notice when BlackStar came out of the shower. He was shirtless, with a towel wrapped around his waist and another wrapped around his shoulders.

"Liz, take a break," BlackStar demanded, as he approached her. She quickly snapped back to reality and exited out of the site before he could see it.

"I guess I should," Liz said as she stood up. She realized that her legs were asleep, so she stumbled a bit, but she caught herself. BlackStar offered, "I could edit it if it's giving you so much trouble."

"No, no, I can do it," she said while she stretched out her legs.

BlackStar sat down in front of the computer. "I don't mind at all."

He took the precious laptop away and began to read the essay. Liz frowned. When she got home, she was going to spend a lot of time exploring that website. But she'd have to use Kid's desktop computer, because she didn't have a laptop and she sure as hell wasn't going to do it on his laptop. Maybe if she complained, Kid would get her one…

BlackStar read it in two minutes and started suggesting changes.

"Instead of saying, this, you could phrase it like…" he began. Liz rolled her eyes. She didn't care. But… he was half naked, writing her essay for her… there were perks to this as well. She sat down beside him and nodded, and let him make all the changes.

Afterwards, BlackStar double checked the paper against the rubric. He said, "Oh yeah, and you need a references or works cited page. You can use an online citation generator, and pull up your history to see which websites you used."

Liz's eyes widened. Welp, he was about to find out why she had been so focused.

BlackStar pulled up Google Chrome. Liz had been using Mozilla Firefox. When he pulled up the history, nothing popped up. BlackStar frowned. "Oh, did you use an incognito tab?" he asked.

"…" Liz shrugged.

"That doesn't save your history," BlackStar told her. "Tsubaki always has it on incognito as default or something. I don't know why." He shrugged. "I guess you'll have to figure out references on your own."

"I can do that. Thanks," Liz said.

"Okay, so email the paper to yourself or save it to Google Drive or whatever and you're good to go," BlackStar said. He stood up. "I'm going to put on pants." As he walked away, Liz stared at his muscular body. She nodded, liking what she saw. She then emailed the paper to herself, after copying and pasting the urls from her reference websites into the reference page of her paper. Screw online citations. Ain't nobody got time for that.

After a successful day of plagiarism, Liz decided to go home. She grabbed her purse and called out, "Goodbye BlackStar!"

BlackStar, wearing nothing but boxers, appeared in the hallway and waved goodbye.

Yes.

Today was a great day.

Unfortunately, halfway on the trip home, Liz realized something…

"What was that website called again?" she asked herself.

Darn it…


	13. Maka goes Shopping

Maka goes Shopping

Tsubaki met Maka in front of the little bakery down the street from the trolley stop. Maka waved to her and approached her.

"Good morning Tsubaki," Maka said.

"Good morning Maka," Tsubaki replied, smiling. "Ready to shop?"

"Yup."

"Do you have any idea of where you want to go? Any budget?"

Maka shook her head. "I have my papa's credit card so I can spend whatever."

"…" Tsubaki's smile dropped. _Wow she's spoiled._ Tsubaki thought. "But you should still make a budget…"

"He told me to spend as much as I wanted," she said. "He's trying to make up for being a bad father by buying things for me."

Tsubaki frowned, saddened by that little statement. "Nevermind. Let's just go…"

They hopped on the Death City Street Trolley, which would take them straight downtown. As they rode, Maka asked, "Hey Tsubaki, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Tsubaki answered, hoping it wouldn't have to deal with Maka's family issues.

"What's it like to be a weapon?"

That caught her off guard. "What do you mean?"

"Like, what does it feel like to transform into one?"

"…" Tsubaki thought for a moment. "Well, I mean…" She paused. "It's…just…like…um…"

Maka waited patiently for an answer.

"I mean, I've never thought about it," Tsubaki answered.

"But when you're a weapon, what are you thinking?"

What was she thinking? Obviously, "…about the battle…making sure BlackStar doesn't get hurt."

Maka tapped her chin. "Okay, so, how does it feel to morph yourself into a weapon?"

"…It feels like…um… like you're becoming a different person…but…it's a weapon."

"What do you mean?"

"Like changing your shape. Like this is how my body looks now," Tsubaki gestured to herself, "but when I'm a weapon, my body changes into a weapon. I still have my soul and my thoughts, and I'm still Tsubaki, but I look like a weapon."

Maka seemed lost. Tsubaki continued to explain. "Like right now, Maka looks like Maka, but if you dyed your hair and grew several inches, you'd still be Maka, just a different version of Maka."

Maka nodded. "Oh. Okay. I think I get it. It's like you, but in a different shape."

"Exactly."

"Does it hurt?"

Why was she asking all these questions? "No."

"What about when you whack enemies? Does that hurt?"

"No."

"Can you feel it when someone touches you in your weapon form?"

"Yes."

"Wait, can you see? Hear? Taste? Smell?"

"…Yes…? I've never eaten in weapon form. I don't have a mouth."

"…But you don't have eyes and you can see."

"…" Tsubaki thought about that. "I don't…"

Tsubaki was quiet for several minutes. "I can't explain that… I guess it's like perception magic or something. I don't think it makes logical sense Maka. We are magic weapons anyway."

"Yeah…I'm just curious you know. Have you ever been curious about weird stuff?"

No. Or maybe? Tsubaki didn't know. "Like...?" Tsubaki mumbled.

"Like, guys, how do they wear tight pants if they have boy parts? Doesn't that hurt?"

Boy parts? Is that what she called them? How cute. "…I don't think so. BlackStar says that there should be enough space for it."

Maka gasped. "Oh, really?" She nodded. "Makes sense. Because guys wouldn't wear tight pants otherwise. But I just wonder, you know? I often wonder what it's like to be tall. Or to be a boy. Or to be cool. Or to be dumb and immature."

"You are cool," Tsubaki said, just as they arrived downtown.

"Thanks Tsubaki. You too."

They walked down the street to the local Death&M clothing store. The two then began their shopping adventure. Maka said, "I need something formal and sexy."

"You're going to dinner with your parents," Tsubaki reminded her.

"Yes, and I need to show Mama that I'm developing into a mature young woman," Maka declared.

Tsubaki giggled a little.

"I am!" Maka insisted.

"Okay. Sure." Tsubaki led her to the young women's section. "Let me see, what would I wear…" She picked out a long, black dress, with a slit cut down the side. "Ooo this is nice." Tsubaki held it in front of her and looked at a nearby mirror. Maka shook her head, "I don't think something like that would give me the look I'm looking for."

"I like it though, for me," Tsubaki said. She set it down. "You want straps? Sleeves? Sleeveless?"

"Let's try sleeveless," Maka said.

Tsubaki giggled. Maka pouted. Tsubaki nodded. "Okay," Tsubaki said. They tried several outfits, none of which Maka liked. So they went to several local shops and looked around before taking a break for lunch.

"I quit," Maka said, sighing, as she drank a smoothie.

"No, no quitting!" Tsubaki declared, while eating french-fries.

"But I'm not finding anything," Maka said.

"No quitting!" Tsubaki insisted.

"I guess," Maka said, as she reached for one of Tsubaki's French fries. Tsubaki swatted her hand away, firmly stating, "You said you didn't want any."

"Oh, sorry, I do that to Soul all the time," Maka said.

Tsubaki looked deeply offended, as if she was feeling sympathy for Soul. "How could you? You don't eat someone else's fries." Soul must really be close to Maka if he allowed her to do something like that.

Maka got defensive. "Well now I know."

A familiar voice called out, "Hey Maka, Tsubaki, whatcha up to?"

They turned around to see Killik and Thunder and Fire, carrying a bunch of bags.

"Hi," Maka answered as Tsubaki waved. "Nothing much."

"Cool, cool," Killik answered.

"What's with all the bags?" inquired Maka.

Killik hoisted a bag onto his shoulders. "It's for the party next week."

"What party?"

"Didn't you get the Facebook invite?"

Maka shook her head. "I don't check Facebook."

Tsubaki answered, "Kim's surprise party?"

Killik nodded. "Yup. Ox has me, Thunder, Fire and Harvar running around like crazy, trying to make this thing awesome."

Maka asked, "A surprise party? Is it her birthday?"

Killik nodded. "You should come. The more the merrier."

"Sure," Maka agreed.

"Great. Well we're going to head over to Death Stylez to pick out an outfit."

Tsubaki suggested, "Oh, Maka, maybe we can find an outfit for you there too."

"You're looking for clothes so soon? You just found out about the party," Killik said.

"No I'm going to dinner with my parents," Maka explained.

"Both of them?" he asked.

Maka nodded.

"Have they talked since the, you know?"

Maka shrugged.

Killik patted her on the back with his free hand. "Good luck."

Tsubaki didn't know what to think. _Did everyone know Maka's parent's business?_

So they all went to Death Stylez. Killik tried on a dressy casual suit jacket. Tsubaki shook her head. "It says hipster, you know? Are you going for the hipster look?" she asked.

Killik shook his head. "I just want something moderately nice."

Maka emerged from the dressing room, saying, "I think this looks nice."

Killik smiled. "Yeah, it does."

Tsubaki inspected Maka all the way around. Then she nodded in approval. Maka pumped her fists. "Yes!" She returned to the room to change, so that she could purchase the dress.

"Now all we need are shoes and accessories," Tsubaki said.

Killik laughed. "So you two have been at this all day and you're still going to shop?"

Tsubaki nodded.

"That's so weird… say, Tsubaki, what's it like to be a girl?"

"…" Tsubaki scratched her head. "Um…" She sighed. "I dunno. I've never _not_ been a girl…so…"

"Like, shopping and stuff is different for girls than for boys. Like you girls need bras and stuff, right?"

"Yes…"

"And then you have all your feminine needs."

"Yes…"

"I wonder what it's like to be female, you know…like…don't think I'm weird, but how do you girls wear tight pants? Doesn't it like…bother your girl parts when your pants are too tight?"

Tsubaki wondered why everyone wanted to get metaphysical on her today. She answered, "No girl is going to wear pants so tight that it…bothers her. And if you mean leggings, those are actually really comfortable. They aren't tight."

"Yeah, I mean I guess that makes sense. I just wonder what it's like to _not_ have balls, you know?"

Tsubaki nodded. "Yeah, I've _always_ had that experience of _not_ having balls…"

"I'm sorry. It must be weird talking about this sort of stuff. I just get curious sometimes you know?"

"Actually, I'm sure you and Maka could have very interesting talk about these sort of topics."

Maka stepped out of the dressing room, stating, "Now all we need are shoes and accessories!"

Killik laughed a little as he picked out a sweater vest.

By the time Tsubaki got home, it was seven in the evening. BlackStar was watching television and he looked up and said, "Sup?"

"Sup," Tsubaki replied.

"Have fun?"

"Yup. And you?"

"Yup. Mrs. Fey baked a pie for us. I saved a slice for you."

"That woman is an angel," Tsubaki said.

"Yup. By the way, Liz came over."

Tsubaki gasped. "OMG I FORGOT!"

"It's okay. I took care of it."

"You're the best BlackStar," Tsubaki said, grateful. "I have to say sorry to her later though."

BlackStar shrugged. "She seemed happy enough when she left today."


	14. BlackStar, god of Children

BlackStar, god of Children

After lecture, Stein turned off the brand-new overhead projector that Kid had maintenance men install over the weekend. "I must say, I like these new upgrades to DWMA infrastructure," he mentioned. "Alright, so I ended lecture a few minutes early to hand out the graded tests. I must say that I'm particularly proud of one student who, against all odds, aced this test with a perfect score."

 _Against all odds?_ Soul thought. _Maka doesn't fight against odds._

"BlackStar, would you please stand up?" Stein said, clapping.

BlackStar stood up, took a deep breath as if to yell, but then cleared his throat, and said, "Thank you." He sat down. Stein then passed back the papers. Afterwards, Maka complained, "How'd he get a perfect score? That last question was impossible!"

Soul shrugged.

"I'm usually the top in the class," she complained.

"Get a grip, don't flip your shit," he rhymed.

She sighed. "You're right. It's just one test."

The next day, Stein called upon BlackStar to answer a question on the black board, in front of the whole class. He did so with ease, and explained it with even more ease and fluency. Maka frowned. Soul teased, "Jealousy will make you old and wrinkled." Maka frowned at him. He added, "So do frowns."

During gym class, they were practicing battle skills. BlackStar grabbed and flipped Sid over. Sid nodded. "Great job BlackStar."

Maka frowned. Nygus called Maka up. Maka tried to flip Nygus, but couldn't and was herself pinned down.

The next day, in dissection lab, Maka was gently scraping away at the membranes of the intestines of an ugly dead baby pig. "I've never seen such a nicely done dissection by a student," exclaimed Stein. Maka looked up to see that he was bragging on BlackStar.

She frowned. How could an idiot become a star pupil in a matter of weeks?

Maybe BlackStar really was a god.

She shook her head. Nah.

Later that day, Maka and Soul were given a mission. The way Stein explained it, "Someone's heading on the verge of becoming a corrupted soul. They fed off of the terror of people in a town by killing one child each night. Please stop the person who is committing this atrocity."

Because the mission seemed dangerous, BlackStar and Tsubaki were also part of their team. So they were in Ukraine, sitting on top of a hill on the outskirts of a tiny village, waiting in the middle of the night for the killer. Maka scanned the horizon for weird souls. Tsubaki kept drifting so sleep, so BlackStar had to keep pinching her. He kept pinching her on her upper thigh. Soul knew he could never get away with doing that to Maka. Soul, wearing his headphones and listening to music, watched as BlackStar monitored Tsubaki's alertness.

"Tsubaki stay awake," Blackstar told her.

"Yeah, yeah," she said.

He pinched her.

"I'm awake BlackStar," she mumbled.

He rebuked her, "You can stay up until three or four am when you're watching your BBC on your laptop."

"What the f*ck?" Soul exclaimed.

Maka turned around, confused and tired.

Tsubaki snapped awake and quickly said, "You don't know about the British Broadcasting Channel?"

Soul blushed. He felt so uncool. "Oh. My bad. I guess I'm on Tumblr too much. Thought of something else…Haha…"

BlackStar asked, "Didn't I tell your ass to lay off Tumblr for a while?"

Soul ignored him. Maka asked, "Do you watch Sherlock?"

Tsubaki nodded.

"I do too," Maka said as she yawned. "We should hang out and talk about it sometime."

Good thing Tsubaki actually watched Sherlock. After that Tsubaki felt more awake. At least, until she felt BlackStar pinch her again. She complained, "When is this guy gonna attack? He needs to hurry up."

BlackStar asked, "Is Maka awake still?"

Soul, who was the most alert out of all of them (he was the king of pulling all-nighters), tapped Maka on the shoulder. She shuddered awake. "Yeah?" she said as she wiped the slight drool from her face. Soul thought that was cute. BlackStar threatened, "I'm going to pinch you if you fall asleep again."

Maka threatened, "If you do, I'm killing you."

BlackStar laughed. "YOU CAN'T KILL ME! I'M IMMORTAL!"

"Is that so?" asked an unfamiliar voice. It was a calm, quiet voice—that of a little girl's. It came from behind them. They all turned around to see a pale little girl, with very deep red lips, very dark eyes, and very blonde hair, wearing a white dress and red sandals, and holding a blood red colored teddy bear.

"Holy f*cking shit," Soul swore as he jumped away from her and became a scythe, landing in Maka's hands.

"Calm down Soul," Maka said as she bopped him on his handle. "And stop using that kind of language around a little girl."

The little girl giggled. "I'm not just a little girl," she said.

"What do you mean?" Maka asked.

Before she knew it, a lock of the little girl's hair suddenly extended and grabbed Maka's ankle. It lifted her up into the air. Maka screamed and tried to cut the hair and free herself. However, her hair felt as hard as steel.

"What?!" Maka exclaimed.

BlackStar quickly jumped into action, running toward the little girl and thrusting the palm of his hand into her gut, and using his soul wavelength to attack her. She disappeared with a _poof!_ Leaving nothing but a smoke cloud in her wake.

"Tsubaki!" BlackStar called out.

She nodded and became her demon sword mode. BlackStar wielded her and began trying to sense for the little girl. Meanwhile, Maka fell to the ground with a _thud!_ She sat up and griped, "That's not a little girl."

"No shit _Sherlock_ ," Soul insulted.

"I'm tired alright! I'm not thinking," Maka said.

She scanned the area to look for the apparition's soul. Maka pointed down at a house. "There she is! Hurry!"

They all ran toward a house and burst in through the roof. There, they found the creepy little girl using her teddy bear to smother a toddler while the toddler slept. She turned to Maka and BlackStar and smiled. "I like to play with the dead children."

Maka swung her scythe partner at the girl, but the hair turned into steel and made her rebound, accidentally slamming Soul through a wall, into another room.

"Maka! Wake up!" Soul shouted.

Of course, all this noise woke the residents of the house. A man burst into the room with a shotgun.

"What's going on!" he cried out.

He saw two kids with weapons, a little girl with a teddy bear, and his toddler. He pointed the shotgun at Maka and Soul, because, I mean, they had just wrecked his wall. The little girl laughed and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. The guy freaked out. "Who are you?" he screamed.

Maka and BlackStar looked at each other. They both jumped out of the roof. The toddler woke up and started crying.

"That was embarrasing," Maka said.

BlackStar complained, "I wish you could hit the little demon."

"I can't cut her hair!"

As if on cue, a lock of hair grabbed both BlackStar's and Maka's ankles and slammed them into the ground repeatedly. They heard the laughter of the little girl. Maka managed to avoid being slammed facedown into the ground again by sticking Soul's handle in the ground and using him as a lever to swing herself out of the grasp of the lock of hair.

Meanwhile BlackStar forced his soul wavelength into sword-mode Tsubaki, cut himself free, and ran toward the girl, stabbing her in the chest.

"Okay Maka, how tired are you?" Soul asked.

Maka ignored him and paid attention to the girl. She started screaming. BlackStar jumped back, and prepared for her next attack. But she just kept screaming, "No! No! Don't kill me! Don't kill me!"

BlackStar looked at Maka. "What's going on!?" he asked.

Maka shook her head. "I don't know!"

The little girl poofed into clouds of smoke again. By now, villagers began looking out of their windows. Tsubaki said, "Looks like we're creating a scene."

The little girl reappeared again. She held out her blood red teddy bear. "Mr. Tickles used to be brown," she said.

BlackStar and Maka hesitated.

BlackStar mumbled, "Does she mean…"

Maka gasped and dropped to her knees. She stared at the little girl with shock.

"Mr. Tickles used to be brown," the girl repeated.

"Oh my goodness. She's already dead," Maka mumbled. "It's the teddy bear that has the soul!"

The girl cuddled the teddy bear. "Mr. Tickles? Can I have more friends to play with?"

BlackStar ran up to the little girl and snatched her teddy bear. She poofed again.

This time, however, Mr. Tickles frowned. Suddenly animated, he grabbed onto BlackStar's face and stared to smother him. Maka swung Soul and cut Mr. Tickles in half. The stuffed animal fell off of BlackStar's face.

"Maka! Shit! My face!" he called out, grabbing his face.

"I didn't hit you, you little crybaby," she yelled.

BlackStar released his face. He was okay. He turned to Maka. "Punk," he insulted.

Maka argued, "I just saved you!"

Mr. Tickles writhed in pain. The little girl reappeared and screamed. It was an ear shattering scream. They all dropped to their knees and covered their ears.

The girl then began to sob. "Mr. Tickles was always with me! Even when I died! He was always with me. Always by my side until the bitter end. Soaking up my blood."

Then the girl poofed away, for good, finally. A soul was left behind where Mr. Tickles lay. Tsubaki and Soul reverted to human form. Soul looked at Tsubaki. "You gonna eat that?"

Tsubaki shook her head. Soul grabbed the soul. He just held onto it. He didn't want to eat this one.

BlackStar asked, "What just happened?"

Maka replied, "That bear was possessed by the soul of the dead girl, who was killing children so that she could have playmates and wouldn't feel so lonely being dead."

BlackStar, Tsubaki and Soul's faces dropped. Maka sighed and wiped a tear forming in her eyes. The people in the village slowly retreated to their houses. BlackStar picked up Mr. Tickles. He hugged the bear.

The next day, after a good rest, the BlackStar and Tsubaki visited the grave of the little girl. Turns out that she was murdered, along with the rest of her family, during a violent armed robbery. They hadn't buried her with her favorite teddy bear. BlackStar took the liberty of sowing up the damaged teddy bear himself so that he could return it. He remembered talking to Kid the other day and hearing about how Patty went out of her way (and got shot) to retrieve a lost teddy bear. BlackStar assumed that the little stuffed animals had a deeper meaning to children than anyone realized.

BlackStar knelt down by the grave, paid his respects, and left Mr. Tickles on top of her grave. "Hopefully she won't be lonely anymore," he muttered.

After Tsubaki paid her respects, she knelt down beside him. "You okay?"

He nodded. "I just hate to see little kids die, you know?" He clenched his fists. "When I surpass god, I'm gonna be the god of protecting little kids."

Tsubaki nodded, happily. "You'd make a great god of kids."

"Her name was Ella."

"The girl?"

"Yeah."

Tsubaki watched as BlackStar's eyes expressed his deep sadness. Then he opened his mouth and ruined it by saying, "I hope Mrs. Fey's daughter is eating her veggies."

Tsubaki just went with it. "I hope she is too."


	15. Ox Throws a Party

Ox Throws a Party

Kim's closest friends were gathered at a small ballroom in the center of Death City Central Park. Ox had spared no expense on this lavish surprise party for Kim. The decorative flowers were tastefully placed all around the venue. Dainty tablecloths and fancy napkins were placed on each table. The food was catered, and they had a live DJ as well as a professional photographer. All this seemed a bit much for a small get-together, Soul thought, but oh well. _Some people have different ideas of 'small get-together'_. The invite had said dressy casual, but Soul felt it was more of a semi-formal event. He was standing next to BlackStar and Killik as Killik told the story of how they almost dropped the five-tiered cake that Ox had ordered for Kim.

"So I'm walking down the steps," Killik said, "and Ox is in front of me, holding the other end, and I'm just like, Ox, you're sagging bro. It's gonna slide. He's like, nah, I'm cool. I'm cool. And I'm insisting that it's sliding. I can feel the cake toppling toward him. And then it started sliding. BUT, luckily, Thunder was there to help him out by diving in and grabbing Ox's side. Otherwise this $150 cake would be all over Ox and his new suit."

They all laughed. Out of the Blue, Ox jumped onto a chair and clapped his hands to gather everyone's attention. "Hey! Hey! Everyone! Listen!"

The murmur of the excited group of friends calmed down.

Ox continued, "Jackie is bringing Kim here as we speak, and it's going to be a blast! So when Jackie does the triple knock, we'll turn out the lights, and on the count of three—"

There was a loud bang on the door three times.

"OH SHIT! HIDE! HIDE!" Ox yelled. He rushed to turn out the lights.

Jackie opened the door. Kim, who was right behind her, said, "There's no freaking way a unicorn could be hiding in here."

Suddenly, Ox turned on the lights and smiled stupidly. An extremely awkward moment of embarrassingly absolute, heart stopping, dead silence passed by. Kim shook her head and gave Jackie a stank look. The kind that lets a person know that they've f*cked up. "Okay, so here's Ox hiding in some sort of abandoned wedding reception room… Jackie why did you lie to me? You know I love unicorns."

Ox shouted, "THREE! THREE EVERYONE!"

An awkwardly timed, staggered chorus of "Happy Birthday!" and "Surprise!" rang out as people awkwardly jumped out of their hiding spots.

"I'M BLACKSTAR!" shouted BlackStar as he jumped through the open window. Everyone gave BlackStar an annoyed look. Then they turned to Kim.

…

…

…

Kim started to cry. "Is this for me?" she whispered to Jackie.

Jackie nodded. Kim hugged Jackie. "You're the best friend ever!"

Jackie patted Kim. "Thank you. But it was mostly Ox who executed this."

Ox approached Kim, his arms outstretched for a hug. She hugged him and sobbed, "Thank you! Even though there's not a unicorn here, and Jackie really crushed my dreams of seeing a unicorn, this is the second best thing."

Shots fired.

After a very awkward beginning, the party began to roll.

BlackStar was swinging from the central chandelier, while Tsubaki begged him to stop. Patty, her arm still in a sling, was scarfing down hors d'oeuvres and laughing at him. Harvar and Maka and Killik seemed to be having fun chatting, while Liz tried to stop Kid from rearranging the decorations to be more symmetrical. Jackie, Thunder and Fire were killing it on the dance floor while Ox was busy flirting with Kim. Soul kept his distance from it all, eating a few of the finger foods and observing them from across the room.

Maka noticed, and she marched right up to Soul and pulled him into the conversation—literally, she grabbed his arm and dragged him into the conversation. "Soul, you break the tie," she said. "Is it or is it not uncomfortable to wear tight pants?"

Soul raised an eyebrow. "Is this the kind of small talk that you're interesting in Maka?" he teased.

"Just answer the question," Killik asked.

"It depends on whether there's enough space for your junk," he said.

Harvar and Killik nodded. "I can agree with that."

"What are you wierdos talking about anyway?" Soul asked.

"How the situation to which you were born elicits different perceptions of reality," Killik explained.

Soul turned around to walk away. Maka held on to him. "Wait, Soul, you should hear Harvar give the most insightful explanation of what it feels like to be a weapon—"

Ox stood on a chair and clapped his hands. "Everyone, it's time for Kim to open her gifts!" He tripped a little as he stepped down from the chair. But he didn't hurt himself. Kim laughed. She then walked towards the small pile of gifts amassed in the center of the room.

She proceeded to unwrap her gifts. A ceramic decorative cookie jar that said, "Witchy" on it, from Tsubaki and BlackStar. A cinnamon-scented broomstick from Killik, Thunder and Fire. A leather-bound spell-book-like-journal from Maka and Soul.

"I get it; I'm a witch…" Kim muttered.

Luckily, she received a skull-shaped pendent from Kid, Liz and Patty, and a stuffed unicorn from Jackie.

"I forgive you Jackie," Kim said. Jackie smiled. The two shared a warm embrace of rekindled friendship.

Ox presented Kim with a tiny gift box. Inside was a small, diamond encrusted promise ring. He knelt down on one knee. "Kim, although we're too young to actually enjoin ourselves in the bonds of marriage, I'd like to symbolically propose to you to be with me forever—"

Kim kicked him, exclaiming, "Don't make a fool of yourself!"

Ox gave Jackie a pair of fluffy unicorn-shaped slippers. Kim hugged him. Ox realized that giving small tokens of unicorn-shaped love was a better strategy to win Kim's affections.

And so the party continued. Most people were on the dance floor, but Maka, Killik and Harvar started getting into some really deep philosophical shit.

"But I don't think it's ever okay to wear someone's culture as a costume," Maka said. "Dressing up as a 'witch' for Halloween is offensive because it's stereotyping the entire, very diverse, which culture, into a single, usually hypersexualized, portrayal of witches."

"If it's a respectful portrayal, then it should be okay," Harvar argued, "because I'm not trying to make fun of it, but for the one day where it's customary to imagine yourself in someone else's shoes through costume, I want to immerse myself in the culture."

Killik shook his head. "But some things are simply unacceptable as costumes. Like wearing religious clothing or painting your face black. Even if you don't mean to offend, others might be offended."

Harvar rebutted, "And so for the fear of offending others, I'm not allowed to dress up like them?"

Maka answered, "Out of respect for someone's culture, you're not allowed to dress up like them."

"I see where you're going, but let me offer this as a rebuttal. What if I sincerely think that the cultural attire is beautiful? Am I not allowed to wear it because I'm not part of that culture?"

Soul wondered, _Are they high? This is weed conversation… or is this how intellectuals think all the time?!_

Soul shook his head. "I'm getting more punch," he told them.

Tsubaki stepped back from the dance floor, because BlackStar had challenged Kid to a dancing competition, and the two were wrecking the dance floor. Kid was super smooth, with his latin dancing style, moving those Shinigami hips with flair, while BlackStar was killing that break dance.

So Tsubaki went to get some more punch. Liz noticed, and followed her. She tapped Tsubaki on the shoulder. "Hey Tsubaki, I need to ask you something."

"Hey Liz. Again, I'm sorry, for forgetting I offered to help you with your essay." Tsubaki bowed. "I'm sorry."

"No probs. I already told you that BlackStar helped me and I got a B minus. I would have gotten an A if I cited my sources correctly."

"I know but I still feel bad."

"Speaking of citing your sources," Liz added, "while I was using your laptop to type the paper, I happened to stumble upon your browsing history."

Tsubaki blushed. "W-what do you mean?" she stuttered.

"No, don't be embarrassed. I'm cool with it. What was the name of that website again?"

"What website?"

"The one with all the hot yaoi. I keep trying to find it. Was it yoaitrust? Yoaicentral? I kept looking for it but I can't seem to find it."

Tsubaki gasped. Tsubaki grabbed Liz's arm and led her outside, onto the front lawn.

"You went through my history?!" she fiercely whispered, once away from the listening ears of the others.

"Only cuz I was trying to cite my sources at first. If anything, I should be mad at you, because it distracted me. It cost me a letter grade."

"You used my laptop!?" Tsubaki realized.

"BlackStar said it was okay."

"How'd you even use it? It was locked!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"He knows your password."

"Holy shit he knows my password?" She blushed and covered her face. "That explains so much."

Liz laughed. "He thinks it's about the British Broadcasting Channel." Liz raised her eyebrows and winked at her. "But we both know that not the kind of BBC you're thinking of."

"DON'T TELL HIM," Tsubaki demanded. Her face felt so hot, and she could feel her heart beat rapidly in her chest.

"Why would I?" Liz shot back. "Besides, even if I did, I don't think BlackStar is the kind to judge."

"He's not. It's just that I don't want him to think of me like that."

"Like what?"

"You know… A pervert."

Liz laughed. "Don't worry about that. But what was that website?"

"It's a blog that I run."

"Oh! You're the moderator!"

"Shhh!" Tsubaki whispered.

"No need to be ashamed. Girl own it. Your website making skills are on point."

Tsubaki looked away, toward the ground as she twiddled her thumbs. "…Thank you."

"What was the name?"

"It's _yoaimust_. There. You happy?"

"Write it down? I'll forget," Liz said.

Tsubaki groaned. "I don't have pencil or paper."

Liz marched inside, took a pen from the stack of those that they had used to sign Kim's birthday card and returned outside. She rolled up her sleeve and said, "Write it on my wrist."

Tsubaki did so.

"Thank you," Liz said. She returned her sleeve to its rightful place. "Where do you even find that delicious content?"

Tsubaki groaned as her face shone bright red. "It's a hobby. Leave me alone. And don't tell anyone!"

Liz shrugged and returned inside.

Ox whispered something to the DJ, who nodded, and started playing a slow song. "Couples dance!" Ox cheered. He bowed to Kim. "My dearest, sweetest Kim," he begged.

"Sure, whatever, stop embarrassing me," she agreed.

Harvar asked Jackie to dance, and Killik asked Maka, much to Soul's chagrin. Oh well, he shouldn't have been avoiding their mini-philosophy talk. BlackStar was twirling Tsubaki around, and he tossed her into the air, while Fire and Thunder were dancing with each other. Liz approached Soul, and asked, "Odd one out?"

He nodded. "You?"

She nodded her head to Patty and Kid. Kid was scolding Patty for not following his footsteps. "She's closer to his height." She sighed. "He never wants to dance with me." She turned to Soul. "So, let's dance."

Soul shrugged. He grabbed Liz's hand and started dancing with her. "You're a pretty good dancer," he said.

"Thank you," she replied. They danced around the ballroom as the slow-paced, romantic music played. Out of the corner of his eye, Soul watched Maka and Killik dance. Maka's arms draped over his shoulders while he held her around the waist…

When that music came to an end, a really 'turnt up twerk song' (as the youngsters nowadays call it) started playing. Liz cheered, "F*ck yeah this is my jam!" She started twerking on Soul. Soul blushed. He did not ask for this. He quickly turned to see what Maka was doing. _She had better not be twerking on Killik_ , his jealous mind thought. He saw Maka awkwardly laugh and shake her head. Killik laughed and said something to her. They both laughed.

Then, to Soul's horror, Maka saw Soul being twerked on by Liz. Soul quickly avoided eye contact. What could he do? Leave her hanging? Luckily for Soul, Liz stood up and shouted, "Uh-uh! Patty!" She noticed that Patty was twerking a bit too hard on Kid, and Kid was not shy about it either. She marched right up to them and broke that up. Soul slipped away and sat down. Killik wandered up to Liz and Liz started twerking on him. Patty and Kid went right back to their super raunchy dancing, but Liz sighed and just let that be. Liz happened to notice that Tsubaki was being just as, if not much more, inappropriate with BlackStar. And Ox was pretty much grabbing Kim as she twerked on him. Fire and Thunder were both twerking, but not on each other. Harvar was twerking on Jackie… quite fiercely…

"Twerk it!" Jackie cheered as she pretended to slap his ass.

 _Kids these days…_ Liz thought, although she wasn't that much older than them. _Am I doing it wrong?_

Soul quietly sipped his punch at his table. Maka stood by the wall and watched the twerking, and it seemed like she was slightly dancing, as if trying to do it. Soul laughed. He thought that she was so cute for that. Maka sighed and gave up and sat down next to Soul. She laid her head on the table.

Soul asked, "What's wrong?"

"I can't twerk," she complained.

"You have no ass. Of course you can't."

"You're a bully," she said. "You were having fun with Liz I see."

"She was having fun on me," he corrected. "I didn't approve of that."

"Lair. Your face was all red."

"If that's what you think," Soul answered.

"You acting as if you'd say no if I offered to twerk on you."

Soul turned away, mostly to hide his embarrassed face. "I wouldn't want your bony butt on me."

Maka sighed.

Soul said, "You don't have to know how to twerk. Don't feel bad about it."

Maka shrugged. Soul shrugged. The next song was a slow R&B "grinding" song (as the youngsters nowadays call it).

 _Damn, they're all acting like straight up adults in the club._ Soul thought as he watched his friends sensually dance with their bodies close together, undulating their bodies to the beat. He was particularly alarmed by BlackStar and Tsubaki. BlackStar was holding onto her waist and they were so in sync and pretty intimate, and they were looking each other right in the eyes, smiling. They looked like they were going to go home and Netflix and Chill. And they lived together. _Well if there's a BlackStar Jr. nine months from now, we all know why._ He reasoned. He started to wonder what their kid would look like… Soul imagined a baby version of BlackStar with black hair. He laughed a little. What would they name him? Supernova? Starry Sky? No. Bright Star.

He then imagined what Ox and Kim would make. Then what Jackie and Harvar would make. Killix and Liz. Kid and Patty. Fire and—oops. He gaged a little. He then decided to stop shipping people. Although… BlackStar Jr. was such a cute idea that he did hope that they got together. Just not now! Like, after they were grown and had stable incomes…

He happened to glance at Maka. He'd only meant to glance, but he ended up staring at her. Hm… Maka's nose with Soul's eyes and ears… eww… that was an ugly baby. What about Maka's face and nothing of Soul? Yeah, that'd make a cute daughter.

"I know why you're looking at me, but I'm definitely not going to dance on you like that," she said.

Soul frowned. Well, he wasn't going to tell her the truth of what he was thinking…

Actually, he realized that, when viewed from another perspective, what he was thinking was slightly creepy. He stood up, "I'm getting more punch." He walked away.

"Get me some," she said.

Later, the party ended, and everyone went home, except Killik, Thunder, Fire, Harvar and Ox. They had to clean.

"That was fun," Killik declared.

"You had too much fun with Liz," Harvar teased.

"What can I say?" Killik shrugged. "Mr. Twerk on Jackie."

They laughed.

Ox simply sighed heaving sighs of happiness. He couldn't have wished for this to have gone better. It was perfect.


	16. Maka's Parents Fight After Dinner

Maka's Parents Fight After Dinner

"Soul, you ready?" Maka asked, as she put on her earrings, while walking out of her room.

"Nope," he replied from his room as he straightened his tie. He wanted to look good. Might as well impress Maka's mom. And maybe impress Maka. He kind of had a hope that this night would go really smoothly and maybe kick off some chemistry between them. He doubted it would happen, but, hey, positive thoughts.

Maka sat down on the sofa and sighed. "Hurry up! If we're late, she's going to insult me." As she waited for Soul to emerge from his room, Maka pumped herself up. _Let's do this._ _It's going to be a great night. It's going to be fun. No arguments. No fighting. No problems. Soul is going to be with me._

Soul emerged from his room a minute later. He looked rather devilishly handsome with his black, tailored suit. Inside he wore a red shirt, with the top two buttons unbuttoned, revealing a small, silver soul-shaped necklace. He had brushed his spiky white hair backwards, giving him a sort of refined, yet punk look.

Soul grumbled, "Why are you so afraid of your mother?"

Maka blushed. She slightly turned away. "I think it's called tossing shades?"

Soul raised an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes at her, trying to understand what was going on in her anxious little mind. "What?"

"That phrase? It's slang for when someone says sly insults?"

"Oh, you mean throwing shade?" He fixed his cufflinks.

"Yeah, she throws shade like crazy. It's so annoying. You look great though." She stood up and spun around. "How do I look?"

She was wearing a short, dark red, formfitting dress, sleeveless dress with her hair pulled back into a bun, and her bangs swept to the side. The sweetheart neckline of the dress was really low, and she wore a golden necklace, which matched with her earrings. She wore dark red lipstick, and navy blue eyeshadow. She also wore elbow length gloves of the same dark-red color, and black high-heeled shoes.

"Surprisingly sexy," Soul responded.

Maka blushed. She hadn't expected that.

Soul added, "It must've been hard for a no-ass girl like yourself to pull it off."

Maka hit him on the head. "Can't a compliment just be a compliment with you? And each day it's a new part of my body that you make fun of. I'm still developing."

Soul joked, "I know. Your mom has ass, so you'll get it eventually."

Maka frowned, "I can't stand you sometimes."

"Ready to go?" he asked.

Maka pointed at his neck. "You don't want to wear a tie?"

Soul shrugged. "I hate tying them."

"I'll do it. Go get a tie."

Soul went to his room and retrieved a black tie. He handed it to Maka. Maka gently tilted Soul's head upward and wrapped the tie around his neck. Soul blushed a little when he felt the delicate tickle of Maka's breath on his neck as she buttoned up his shirt. "Oh, nice necklace," she commented as she fixed his tie. Then she straightened up his suit jacket. "There you go."

"Thanks Mom," Soul sarcastically said, struggling to hide his slightly reddened face.

"You're welcome Sweetie," Maka sarcastically replied.

Soul rolled his eyes. But deep inside, he kinda liked to hear her call him Sweetie. Soul grabbed his keys. "Let's go."

"Don't mess up your clothes on the way there," she ordered.

"Yes Mom!" he complained.

And they left. They arrived at the restaurant ten minutes early. Maka spent those minutes sitting on a bench outside the restaurant, taking deep breaths and mentally prepping herself. Soul had never seen her so flustered over something so dumb.

"Maka, it's okay," he assured.

She smiled. "Yeah."

He grabbed her hand. "It's okay."

"This is going to be a disaster," she admitted. She squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry in advance."

A few minutes later, Maka's dad appeared. He was wearing a dark violet-colored silk tuxedo, decked out with the bowtie, corsage and everything.

"Is this fool going to prom?" Soul thought aloud.

Maka added, "He's pulling out all the stops for my mom."

Maka's dad saw Soul and Maka, and joined them, as he called out, "MAKA! PAPA'S HERE!" He grabbed Maka in a hug.

"I wish Papa wasn't here," she complained.

"Still as embarrassing as ever, huh, Spirit?" said a familiar voice. Soul and Maka turned to see none other than Maka's mom.

"MY DARLING!" Maka's dad called out as he grabbed her in a hug.

She coldly said, " _Ex_ -darling."

The entire mood went cold. Spirit's arms dropped. "Oh…yeah…"

The woman slipped out of Spirit's grasp and hugged Maka. "Hello Sweetie." She hugged Maka for a long while, before stroking the bangs out of her daughter's face, and looking her up and down. "Wow, you actually look presentable." Maka's mom smirked. "Except, maybe you need to drink more milk." She tapped Maka's chest. "When are you going to finally grow some breasts Sweetie?"

Soul blushed and turned away. Maka, slightly irked, responded, "Hello Mama. You look good too."

She did look good. She wore a long, form-fitting, off-the shoulders dress, bright blue dress. Her blonde, curly hair was down, drifting across her shoulders with ever slight movement of her head. If she tilted her head the right was, Soul could see that she had a tattoo of a broken heart on her right shoulder. Her dark grey eye shadow and dark lipstick contrasted with the silver earrings and necklace. A petite, soft-spoken woman with a bright smile and sparkling green eyes, she looked a lot like Maka.

Soul couldn't help but notice that her mother did have nice breasts—not huge, but nice. And yes the butt was still there. Soul may have over-glorified it in his memory. Her mom was really pretty though.

"Hi Soul," said Maka's mom.

"Hello, Mrs. Albar—" he caught himself. "Well, I guess I can't call you that anymore."

Maka's mom sighed. Then she shot a look of daggers at Spirit. Spirit cleared his throat. Maka gaped at Soul with a look of despair. _F***********CK._ He thought. _Oh well._ He shrugged. _I'll apologize later_. _It was a simple f*ck up._ "Can I call you Mom?" Soul asked.

Maka's mom seemed really puzzled. Then she looked at Maka. Then she looked at Soul again. "Oh… okay. Sure," she hesitantly answered. "Anything but _that_." She looked at Spirit. "It reminds me of the biggest mistake of my life."

"Oh come on, it wasn't the biggest mistake of your life," Spirit said. "We had good times."

"When? Was it when you were cheating on me?" Maka's mom asked, sarcastically.

Spirit opened his mouth to say something, but Soul said, "So, dinner? Shall we go inside?" Soul led them inside the restaurant.

"Oh, you're joining us?" Maka's mom asked.

Soul nodded. Maka's mom gasped, and said, "Oh…"

It was a really fancy French restaurant, the kind with courses for meals and fancy napkins. The waiter showed them to their table.

Soul pulled out the chair for Maka, in a gentlemanly manner. She sat down and averted the gaze of her mother. Soul sat down beside her. Because there were only four chairs at the table, this forced Maka's parents to sit beside each other.

"Your waiter shall be with you shortly," the server said. He then walked away.

Maka stared at the table. Maka's dad stared at Maka's mom. Maka's mother stared at Soul. So Soul asked, "So, Mom, how've you been?"

"Great," she replied. "I traveled around the world a little."

"Really? What did you do?"

"Sightseeing mostly. And collecting information for the book I'm about to publish."

"Oh, you're an author?"

"Yup. Writing is my passion. Maka, sit up straight Sweetie, you'll get a hunchback."

"Yes Mama," Maka said, straightening up.

A waiter stopped by, placed breadsticks on the table and handed menus to them. "Hello, and welcome to Fancy Eats. I will be your waiter, Jerome. May I start you off with a drink?"

"Yo, let me get a coke," Soul ordered.

"Water, please," Maka asked.

"We'll have lemonade," Spirit ordered.

Maka's mom glared at him. "You don't order for me anymore," she said.

Spirit stared at her. "But… you always want lemonade."

"I do want lemonade. But you don't order it for me."

The waiter sensed the tension, and hurried away with the drink orders, while muttering something about today being an extremely tense day. The four of them looked at the menus. Lots of fancy French food decorated the menu. It all looked so fancy and good. It reminded Soul of his younger days, when his family would go out to fancy places. He sighed. He should go visit home one day. Eventually.

Maka leaned in closer to him, while using the menus as a shield from her parents. She fiercely whispered, "Soul, did you really call her Mrs. Albarn? Really?"

"My bad," he whispered. "I forgot."

Maka sighed. "But other than that, you're doing well. Thanks."

"What are you two talking about?" asked Maka's mom.

Soul set the menu down and lied, "She's so indecisive. I'm telling her to just pick something."

"Sweetie I can order for you," her mom suggested.

Maka glared at Soul as if she wanted to Maka chop him on the head. Soul realized that he may have accidentally opened up a can of worms between Maka and her Mom. Oops. Maybe Maka shouldn't have brought him.

Maka answered, "No thank you, I think I've got it now Mama."

"Okay. Well you know Mama can order for you because Mama knows best."

Spirit added, "Yup, Mama knows best."

Maka argued,"Mama, I'm a growing young woman. I can at least order my own food."

"You don't look so grown to me," her mother replied.

Maka pouted, and decided not to speak again, due to the risk of receiving shade from her mother.

"Spirit, stop rubbing my thigh," Maka's mom said as she swatted at his hand.

"Sorry, force of habit," he said.

"Yeah, I'm sure you do that to all the ladies," she said.

"Papa keep your hands to yourself," Maka demanded.

"Yes Maka."

This was starting off badly. So Soul asked, "How's the restructuring of the curriculum going Pops?"

"Restructuring curriculum?" Maka's mom asked.

"Yeah, Death-sama wanted to update DWMA's classes. Part of our ongoing strife for excellence."

"That's good. Nice to see you doing something other than women."

Shots. Fired.

Soul realized that Maka was very right about the shade. It had been nonstop since she arrived, and she was really calm and direct with it. She didn't sound malicious at all. In fact, if Soul wasn't paying attention, he might have not caught her last insult.

The waiter returned with the drinks. Then he took the orders.

After Maka ordered, her mother asked her, "Are you sure you want that Sweetie? You probably shouldn't be eating something so heavy."

"I'm sure," she insisted.

"You know what," she said to the waiter, "instead, she'll have what I'm having."

Maka insisted, "Mama I can decide what I want."

"Mama knows best Maka," her father said.

"Fine." Maka agreed.

Okay, this was a very weird family dynamic, Soul realized. Maka's mom seemed to radiate authority, and whoever was getting scolded was double teamed by the other.

Jerome sensed tension and left, muttering something about the tension rising everywhere. Jerome seemed to be a nervous wreck tonight. Poor Jerome. Hopefully the guy's shift would be over soon. Hopefully this dinner would be over soon. How long had it been? Soul glanced at his watch. This was going to be a long evening.

Soul asked, "What kind of book are you going to publish Mom?"

"I'm writing a nonfiction book about the modern world and its economic interactions. I'm also working on several fiction pieces, and I'm a regular contributor to several magazines," she answered.

"That's cool," he answered.

"Speaking of books, have you been doing well in your studies Maka?"

"Yes, I have," Maka answered. "In in the top ten percent of the class."

"Maka studies hard and gets good grades," Spirit added. "I'm so proud of her."

"Yeah, she definitely doesn't take after you," Maka's mom added, smiling. "Is school stressful Sweetie?"

Spirit answered, "Yeah, especially with Lord Death having us write new lesson plans—"

"I think you forget that you're not my sweetie anymore," Maka's mom interrupted.

Spirit sulked with his head down. She said, "Sit up Spirit, you'll get a hunchback." She turned to Maka. "Maka, is school stressful?" the woman asked again.

"No, I like school," she replied. "I've got plenty of friends and I don't mind hard work."

"Do you do any extracurricular activities for fun?"

"I'm on the school redecoration committee. We're modernizing DWMA's infrastructure."

"Oh, are you the president?"

"No—"

"VP?"

"No—"

"Treasurer?"

"Mama, there's not titles in the redecoration committee."

"Oh. I see."

Maka quickly added, "But, once I finish that, I'm planning to be the Projects Coordinator for the upcoming Homecoming Dance Committee. This year's dance is after the football game against True Cross Academy."

Spirit chuckled, and nudged his ex-wife on the shoulder, "Remember what we did after the Homecoming Dance, senior year?"

"I'll never forget that," she replied, quietly laughing. "I still can't believe you convinced me to do that." She blushed and closed her eyes as she reminisced. "Oh, that was great." Then she smiled at Spirit. Suddenly, her eyes widened. She blushed. "Spirit, you're wearing the same tux, aren't you?"

Spirit nodded and he stood up and slowly spun in a circle, showing himself off. "Yup. You like what you see?"

Maka's mom playfully pushed him as she laughed. "Sit down you idiot."

Spirit laughed. He sat down and wrapped an arm around Maka's mom. "Good times. Good times." Then he turned to Maka. "You're not allowed to go to the Homecoming Dance."

"Oh definitely not," her mother agreed, in a tone that pretty much said that it was never a choice.

Maka gaped at them. "What?!"

Soul was surprised at what Maka's parents considered dinner talk.

"Don't shout Sweetie, we're in public," her mother said. "How's the collection of soul's been going? I think you said Soul was a death scythe?"

"Yup," Soul agreed.

"That's amazing. I'm proud." Her mother smiled.

Maka smiled.

"What's your next goal?" her mother asked.

Maka's smile wavered. "Well we're keeping balance in the world."

"Hmmm, so what you're saying is that you don't have a set plan," Maka's mom asked.

"I'm not saying that, but—"

"Where do you see yourself in five years Maka?" her mother probed. "College is a definite."

"Well, yes, I'm going to go to college. I think it's still a while before I start thinking about that."

"It's never too early, especially if you want to go to the best colleges. Fight University is always my recommendation—"

"Mama, what if I don't want to go to the college you went to?" Maka complained.

"Well start thinking of other options. Plan your life ahead of time so you don't end up married to some unfaithful scumbag."

Maka's dad nodded. Then he realized that shots were just fired at him. He turned to his ex-wife, "Darling, come on, I'm not that bad—"

"Yes you are," Maka shot back.

Soul asked, "You went to FU? I heard it's pretty prestigious."

"It's a great school that gives you skills needed to be a defender of justice as well as a Linguistics major," Maka's mom said.

"I'll think about it Mama," Maka insisted.

"Actually, I was interested in FU," Soul said. "I heard their music program is phenomenal."

"Yes, they do have a great music program." The woman gestured to Soul. "See, Soul's looking at colleges."

Soul admitted, "My stupid brother kept pestering me about it. He wouldn't give me his Netflix password until I told him some of the colleges I was interested in," Soul admitted.

"Ah, I see. So are you planning to major in music?" Maka's mom asked.

"Music production technology or something along those lines," Soul said. "Did you know any music majors?"

"Actually, one of my best friends did a music minor, business major, and now she works for RealJamz records. I could possibly establish some connections."

"Really? RealJamz? They're like, number one in the southwest region."

Maka's mom nodded.

"Wow, thanks Mom. That's cool. That would be great. Speaking of music, what's your favorite type of music Mom?"

"I'm more of a jazz person myself."

"Me too," Soul said.

That's when the food arrived.

"Enjoy," said Jerome the waiter, as he set down the food before them. "Please, enjoy it. Don't send it back. Please." The waiter left.

 _What a weird waiter…_ Soul thought. Like a gentleman, Soul spread out his napkin on his lap and prepared to eat. Maka stared at her food—the dish that her mother had ordered for her.

"Not hungry Sweetie?" her mother asked, before taking a bite of her own food.

Maka shook her head, "I'm about to eat." She tried the food. It was really, really good. But she didn't want to give her mother the satisfaction of knowing that she was right once again. Torn between the reluctance to prove her mother right, and the desire to eat the food, Maka sort of pursed her lips and stared at the food.

Spirit tried his food and said, "Wow, Darling, try this." He fed a spoonful of his food to Maka's mom. She nodded. "Although I'm not your Darling, that _is_ good," she said. "Try mine." She fed him a spoonful. From there, Maka's parents started talking and laughing. While they were distracted with each other, Soul whispered to Maka, "Are they not a couple or nah…?"

Maka shrugged, very, very perplexed at their actions. "I'm just as confused," she whispered.

But dinner seemed to go smoothly after that. Maka's parents stared at each other's eyes and reminisced about the good old days. Mid-way through dinner, though, Maka's mom reminded Maka's dad, "So it's official in the courts that the custody of Maka actually goes with me."

"I know," he replied.

"You're touching my thighs again," she said. But she didn't slap him away.

He whispered something into her ear. She laughed to herself and playfully slapped him. "You're horrible," she whispered, playfully.

"This is shameless," Maka whispered to Soul. "I'm so sorry."

"At least it's not a heated argument," Soul whispered.

Out of the blue, "Say, Maka, are you still living with Soul?" Maka's mom asked.

Maka nodded. "Yes."

Maka's mom was taken aback by that answer. "Really? Why?"

Maka was taken aback by that question, "Why not?"

Her mother pouted. "I guess… It's just that… I know what I was doing when I was living with Spirit when I was a little older than you."

Maka and Soul turned bright red. They looked at each other. Then they looked at her mom.

Maka's dad added, "Yes… those were the days."

Maka's mom sighed. "Yeah…" she smiled. "I guess we did have good times. But you constantly had to ruin them."

"I can't control myself," Spirit whined. They continued to talk.

Soul, quite uncomfortable, whispered to Maka, "Am I really…hearing this?"

Maka whispered, "I'm really sorry. They talk like this in front of me all the time and it really is nauseating."

"…But…they'd say this…in front of…in front of company?"

"Maybe you're part of the family?" she whispered.

Spirit said, "I'm sorry. I really am."

"Sorry doesn't fix it," Maka's mom said. "You kept telling me that you'd change, so I'd get my hopes up, and then you'd cheat on me again. I couldn't deal with the pain anymore. What else was I supposed to do?"

"But you sprung up the divorce on me all of a sudden," Spirit complained.

Maka took a deep breath and whispered, "Here we go…"

Soul tried to think of something to say. He was about to ask about where Spirit got the tux from, but Maka's mom said, "Just like it was sudden when women came and told me that you'd been having affairs with them for a couple of weeks. It's not funny Spirit. It's serious. You can't discount something like that as a lack of self-control."

"I know. I'm sorry," Spirit apologized.

"Sorry doesn't fix it," the woman said with a sigh. "It hurts when you said in your vows that you'd love only me, but then you go and do that. And I kept forgiving you. I kept wanting our family to be together. How could you consistently break my heart and just… feel okay?"

Maka turned away. Soul wondered why they were talking about this now, especially in front of Maka. He was pleasantly surprised at their demeanor though. They were completely calm, and they were quiet, so no one else would hear unless they were listening too hard. But still…

"You didn't even suggest that you wanted one," Spirit said. "It surprised me. And Maka too."

Soul cringed. He wondered how Maka felt about suddenly hearing about her parent's divorce. He turned to look at her. She was staring downward, at the table.

Maka's mom explained, "Because every time I intend to confront you about it, you have this way of telling me that we can work it out, and you'll change, and so I believe you, because I love you. Then I give it another chance. And the cycle continued. I couldn't do that anymore. Spirit, think about it. It hurts when someone you really love doesn't love you enough to be faithful. It hurts that you'd lie to my face and say that you weren't doing it again, but you were."

Spirit nodded. "I'm sorry."

"That's not enough anymore. I was young and stupid to forgive you as much as I did. And, thinking about it, I was dumb to even marry you. I knew how you were, but you swore that it'd be different once we were married and had our kid."

Soul knew he shouldn't be so invested in this conversation, but it was getting good. Maka sighed. Soul glanced at her. She'd barely touched her food.

Maka's mom continued, "It was a dumb decision, but I was young, and in love and we were expecting. And I thought you would change." She shook her head. "Years later, and after all those tears, I still love you, and I'd forgive you again in a heartbeat. But I can't get into that cycle again."

Spirit admitted, "I know what I did was wrong, but in my mind I justified it because I love you. I only love you. Those other girls, they're just others. You're the one I really want."

"Then you should have stopped with the other girls," she said. "We were married. You can't have side chicks." She sighed. "That's why we shouldn't have gotten married. You don't understand fidelity."

"But we married for Maka's sake, we wanted to raise her as a family. That's what you wanted," Spirit said.

"What a great family we were, with you always sleeping around and me always crying about it," his ex replied.

Maka bit her lip. Suddenly, it truly hit Soul that Maka may have had a very turbulent childhood, what with her parents always fighting. How did all this impact her? What was she thinking right now?

Maka's mom continued, "And really, Maka's the reason I finally decided to divorce."

Maka looked up, obviously surprised.

Her mom explained, "What kind of example was I setting for her? It's okay to let a man cheat on you if he tells you that he loves you, and you love him? It's okay to cry when he cheats but then forgive him and pretend like it didn't happen? It's okay to constantly not feel good enough, because you can't keep your man in check? What kind of example were we setting for her?"

Spirit lowered his gaze. "You're right. I'm not saying that you're not justified in the divorce. I didn't treat you like you should have been treated. I'm sorry."

"You can't be sorry and continue to do the same thing. That's why it's over between us."

Maka stood up, said, "I can't stand either of you," and walked away.

 _Oops_ , Soul realized that he probably should have said something. Oh well, Maka needed to hear that. Maka's family just needed to sit down and discuss shit. This was too much drama. Maka's parents, on the other hand, seemed completely oblivious to her emotions.

"What was that about?" they both asked each other.

Soul answered, "Did you ever consider her feelings in any of this?" He stood up. "If you excuse me…" He walked away. He found Maka sitting outside, on that same bench near the shrubbery. She wiped her face, but Soul could tell that she'd been crying.

"Maka?" he called out, as he sat down beside her.

"That was so embarrassing," she complained.

"That's not why you're crying though."

"I'm not crying."

"Maka." _Don't bullshit me. I see you crying._ Soul thought.

Maka didn't reply.

"I guess I'll just sit here and sulk with you."

So for five minutes, the two sat there, underneath the light of the stars. Maka leaned against Soul, nuzzling her head against his chest. Soul wrapped one arm around her shoulders and held her. He didn't mind this. This was nice. This was kinda romantic. He slowly reached out with his free hand and stroked Maka's cheek. She looked up at him and smiled. Soul's face turned red. But he didn't mind letting her see it this time.

Should he say something? Maybe he should. But what would he say? He was really captivated by those green eyes. Beautiful. Everything about her was so beautiful. He should just tell her that. He was about to open his mouth to speak, but Maka unintentionally beat him to it.

"They were always arguing," she began.

Soul switched to listen mode. "What do you mean?"

"He'd break her heart, she'd cry, they'd argue, sometimes all night, and I couldn't get to sleep. And if I did, I'd dream that they were arguing. She'd get mad and violent and crazy, and then finally she'd just cry. He'd keep making excuses. And then they made up. And that was that. Until the next time it happened. And all the time, I was always on edge about when it'd happen again." She turned away from Soul and looked up at the stars in the sky. Soul hated to see her so troubled. But what could he do?

Maka kept talking. "Sometimes it wouldn't happen for a month or two. And I'd get excited, like maybe Mama and Papa were finally going to get along…" She sighed. "At a point I just couldn't bear it anymore, so I moved out to come here. That's when she decided to go ahead and divorce…" Maka trailed off. Then she made a fist and pounded the bench. "And I knew it!" She pounded the bench again. "I knew I was the only reason why they always made up! I knew I was making my mom unhappy! She married him because of me!"

Soul wiped the tears from her eyes. Maka realized that she was crying and wiped her own face. She sniffled. "I think it wouldn't been better for them if I was never born. Then she and him would've just been friends or something. I don't know. But she wouldn't have married him. And now she divorced him because of me." She groaned. "It's my fault."

Soul was speechless.

"I'm sorry. That's a lot to take in," she said.

They sat in silence for a minute. Maka added, "Once, I asked him to stop. I must have been six… maybe seven? I begged him to be good to Mama. And he said he would. Then he did it again. Since then, I've hated him. But I'm mad at her too, because then why did she stay with him?" She sniffled. "Sometimes I didn't even want to come home because I was afraid of the arguing. And sometimes Mama would just leave for days on end because she was so mad…" she leaned against Soul. "I can't stand either of them."

Soul patted on the shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"…Thanks…" Maka stared Soul right in the eyes. "Thanks for listening."

"No prob. That's what I'm here for." As cheesy as he knew it would sound, Soul added, "It's not your fault though. And I'm glad you were born though."

Maka embraced him. Soul returned the hug. After a moment, Soul asked her, "You ready to go back inside?"

Maka nodded. Together they returned inside to the sight of Maka's mom and Death Scythe Spirit duking it out with some 9-foot-tall dude in a chef's hat and apron, who was holding some crying guy in his hands. Soul and Maka didn't really know what to say. They just watched, stupefied as Maka's Mom swung Spirit in his Scythe mode and cut the chef guy's hand off, freeing the crying guy. The hand fell to the ground and immediately shriveled up to a burnt crisp. Tearful guy ran off. The chef's arm grew back, and he used it to pick up a table, swing it around madly and finally chuck it toward Maka and Soul. Soul grabbed Maka and dodged out of the way.

What had happened in the meantime, while Soul and Maka were bonding on the bench:

Maka's parents looked toward the entrance of the restaurant, where Maka had stormed out and Soul had followed. Maka's mom stood up to follow her, but Spirit grabbed her arm and held her back. Spirit said, "Hey, Darling, maybe we should just let them talk."

Maka's mom sat down again and sighed. "Goodness, we've messed up."

Spirit sighed. "Yeah."

"How do we make it up to her?"

Spirit shrugged. "I'm bad at this parenting stuff."

"Me too. I guess we have that in common."

Spirit sighed and suggested, "Why don't we just put aside our differences and history and start afresh, for Maka?"

"Spirit…" Maka's mom mumbled. She hit him on the head. "You dick. How many times have you used that line on me?" She grumbled. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and intensely stared at him. "Unless you're really, truly, honestly, legitimately, genuinely mean it. Please Spirit?"

Spirit nodded. "Of course I do." He leaned in close to her, as if to kiss her. She backed away. "Spirit," the woman fiercely whispered. "Stop."

Spirit apologized, "Sorry. I still love you. I can't help myself and I haven't seen you in so long. You keep avoiding me."

Maka's mom pouted, "Because every time I look at you I forgive you. Dammit. What's wrong with me?"

At that moment, they, and everyone else in the restaurant, saw poor Jerome, the server guy, get thrown across the room and slam into a fancy painting. He collapsed on the floor, knocked out.

"What the f*ck?" Spirit exclaimed.

"Language," Maka's mom warned.

"Shit shit shit!" yelled several waiters as they ran away from the same direction from which Jerome flew. It was toward the kitchen. Maka's mom looked toward that direction. Then Maka's mom turned to Spirit. "Spirit can you turn into a scythe?"

Spirit didn't even hesitate. She grabbed him in his scythe form. She said, "I probably shouldn't fight after I just ate though." She brushed her hair out of her face. "Oh well. Someone has to take care of this."

A giant pot-bellied, grey-skinned dude wearing a chef's uniform burst through the wall of the kitchen, into the dining area, screaming, "If you don't like to eat my food, I'll eat you! I'm tired of people sending back my food! I make it with love! It's a delicacy! I will eat everyone here!"

Maka's mom ran toward him and swung her ex-husband at him. Chef dude thrust out his belly and deflected the attack. Then he jumped over her, landed on the table at the center and shouted, "You don't think this food is good?" The lady and the guy sitting at the table screamed. He grabbed them both, expanded his jaw, and put them both in his mouth. He thought he was going to swallow them, but he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his midsection. He looked down to see some sort of glowing blade, slicing him in half. He looked and saw that Maka's mom had got him with a Demon Hunter strike.

He spat out the lady and the guy. The force of the swing sent his top half toward one side of the restaurant, where he slammed into a potted plant. His other half slammed into a wall and display shelf and broke all the fine porcelain plates on display there. Then it shriveled up.

"Whoohoo! Darling!" Spirit cheered. "Wow, it feels so great to resonate our soul wavelengths. No one can handle me like you can."

Even though he was a scythe, Maka's mom knew that Spirit was winking at her. "Jeez, Spirit," Maka's mom complained quietly, "shut up."

"He's coming from above," Spirit alerted.

Maka's Mom looked up to see that the chef had regrown his body and was trying to body slam them. She rolled out of the way sliced him in the neck with her scythe partner.

From the neck downward, his body shriveled up. But the head lashed out at her. She smacked it away like a baseball. As the head was flying, it's body regrew, and the chef landed on another table. The frightened guests screamed when the chef tried to eat them. He grabbed a frightened young bachelor who had just proposed to his girlfriend. He was still on his knees with the ring box in his hand, because he was too shocked to move when the chef burst into the dining area.

Spirit said, "Hey, go for the head."

Maka's mom nodded. "Okay. After I do this."

She cut the chef's hand off, so that the man that he grabbed would be freed. That's when Soul and Maka walked in.

So now, Soul, using his body to protect Maka, found himself on top of Maka, and underneath a table.

Yes, this dinner was going absolutely swell.

Maka's mom wasn't having any of that shit. Neither was Spirit.

Spirit yelled, "I'm going to kill you for trying to hurt my precious daughter!"

Maka's mom didn't even say a word. Within a blink of an eye, she ran toward the chef, used the Demon Hunter Scythe technique, slicing the chef diagonally across the head. His entire body shriveled up into a crisp.

Then he poofed into a soul. Spirit reverted back into his human form. He grabbed the soul and put it in his pocket. He then turned to his ex, "Just like old times, right?"

She smiled at him. "Yeah. Our souls resonate well."

Soul pushed the table off and made sure Maka was alright. "Maka, you okay?"

"Yeah," she replied. "Quick reaction Soul." Suddenly horrified, Maka pointed at her parents, her face losing color and her expression of dread. "Soul, look."

Her mom and dad stared into each other's eyes. Spirit reached out and touched his former wife's hand. "I really do love you."

She smiled. "I know. I love you too. But let's just leave it like that, okay?"

Soul raised his hand. "Check please!"

…

At first the ride home was quiet. Soul liked the feeling of Maka's body clung onto his as they rode on his motorcycle through the city at night. He didn't mind the quiet. He actually liked it, after this… extremely interesting… evening. But Maka broke the silence first.

"My dad is going to hook up with my mom tonight," she whined. "What the hell?"

Soul nodded. "Pretty much."

"Then why'd they even divorce?"

"Because some people were meant to just be f*ckbuddies, you know?"

Maka buried her head against Soul's back.

Soul asked, "Too real?"

"Nah. Too true." She sighed.

Soul suggested, "They acted a bit immature tonight if you ask me."

"Yeah, Maka agreed."

Soul said, "Everything will be okay."

Maka smiled. "I guess so. Thanks for everything."

"No prob." He quite enjoyed himself tonight. "Maybe we should just chill or something tonight. Wanna watch something on Netflix?"

"Like…actually watch Netflix?"

Soul blushed. "Yeah."

Maka giggled. "Sure. But I chose the movie." She smiled. _Soul is a really great friend._ She thought. _How could I ever thank him for being so considerate?_ She hugged him just a little tighter.


	17. Eruka Loses Some Paperwork

Eruka Loses some Paperwork

Vianca Blance marched right into DWMA. Wearing a dark green skirt-suit and her brunette hair pulled back into a no-nonsense bun, and armed with her padfolio and transition lens glasses, this State Employee was ready to check protocol and take names. She found her way to the front office, and was happy that they'd installed signs to direct visitors to the main office to sign in.

In the main office, she saw the secretary doing paperwork—her favorite sight to see.

"Hello, welcome to DWMA," said Eruka. "Are you Vianca Blance, the Education Deputy from the State?"

Vianca nodded. "Yes I am."

"We've been expecting you," Eruka replied. She picked up the phone, pressed a button on it, and calmly spoke into the phone. "Lord Death, Kid, Ms. Blance is here to see you." She then turned to Vianca, "They'll be here shortly."

Then Eruka continued filing paperwork. Vianca was so amazed by the progress made by DWMA that she was tempted to pass them right on the spot. But no! She must ensure that all aspects of the Secondary School Code were met. As an employee of the state, she had a duty to do so.

Upon hearing the call, Death glanced at his son, who was overlooking the final packet of paperwork.

"Ready Kid?" Death asked.

Kid nodded. "Judgement day has come."

Liz groaned. "You act like it's a big deal."

Death was just about to agree with Liz and tell Kid that it wasn't really that serious, but Kid started talking.

"It definitely is a big deal," Kid insisted. "Father tasked me with creating an ideal school! Today is the day I prove my worth." His eyes sparkled with determination.

Patty giggled. "Yeah Liz he's proving himself. Isn't he Lady Tifa?" She cuddled the teddy bear with her good arm.

Death had been meaning to ask about the teddy bear and why Patty's arm was in a cast, but Kid, Liz and Patty had been so busy with the redecoration of the school that he hadn't had time to chat with them. Oh well, he didn't think he really wanted to know.

Death and Kid met Ms. Blance in the front Office. To their horror, Spirit was already there, flirting with her. "You look like a young woman who means business," Spirit was saying.

"I do. The rules of the state department of education matter most to me," Ms. Blance said. "Enforcing them is my passion."

"A woman passionate about her job is admirable."

"Thank you."

"Say, why don't you tell me more about your job over coffee one day?"

"Coffee?" she repeated.

"Two hardworking people sharing about their career aspirations over Coffee? Or would you prefer a dinner?"

Kid rushed over and whispered to Spirit, "Hey, Death Scythe, Maka needs you."

Spirit gasped and took off running down the hall. Kid silently wished for Maka to forgive him for such desperate measures, but he couldn't have stupid Death Scythe Spirit messing around and breaking the heart the person who would judge DWMA's excellence.

Death actually found it quite amusing how Spirit asked no questions. He just took off running… Did he even know where Maka was?

Death himself approached Ms. Blance and greeted her, "Good afternoon Ms. Blance."

"Hello," she replied. "Glad to see that you're actually in the school." She checked something off on a checklist that she had on top of her padfolio. "Why isn't this student in class?"

"He's my son. He doesn't have to be in class."

"Is he enrolled in the school?"

"…" Death turned to Kid. "Are you still enrolled in this school?"

Kid nodded. "Yeah. I think so." He hadn't gone to class in quite a while, since he was spearheading the decoration and whatnot.

"Then he should be in school?" she said, clicking her pen and making a note.

"He has an excuse," said Eruka as she handed a piece of paper to Ms. Blance.

Ms. Blance glanced it over. "Oh, okay. Good." She handed the paper back to Eruka. "Alright, well, take me on a tour of the school please."

Death glanced at Kid, then at Eruka, then he shrugged and proceeded to lead Ms. Blance out of the front office. Kid stayed back for a second to ask, "What form was that?"

Eruka answered, "Form 31C: Excuse from class for child/affiliate of operator of supernatural secondary school."

"They have a form like that?" Kid mumbled as he walked away.

They had a form for everything. He caught up with his father and Vianca. They were walking along the outer premises of the school. She was checking every little detail and writing stuff on her papers.

Vianca asked, "So, I see that there are massive spikes protruding from your outer wall. Do you have a Spike Safety Permit?"

Death actually got irritated. Really? Honestly. "A _what_?" he asked.

Kid flipped through his giant folder of perfectly filed paperwork. Kid asked, "Is that form T92?"

Vianca nodded. Kid handed it to her. Vianca checked something off of her list. "And are these stairs handicap accessible?"

Kid genuinely laughed, "We couldn't make these mountainous stairs handicap accessible."

Vianca clicked her pen.

Kid preempted her, "But we installed an elevator." Kid led her to the elevator. They took a short elevator ride down to the bottom of the DWMA staircase.

Viana checked something off. She asked, "When was the last time the elevator was serviced. And do you have an elevator license?"

Kid gave her the paperwork. She checked something off.

Death peeked over her shoulder. "What are you even writing," he asked?

She frowned. "You'll see the final score when I finish."

Death frowned. He said, "Do I have to be here while you do this?"

Vianca looked up at him. "Well it's preferred, but if you have another issue to attend to, then I won't hold you back. A representative of the school needs to be here though."

Death looked to his son. "Kid," he said in a very fatherly tone, "I'm entrusting you to one day lead this school. Today shall be the ultimate test. Take my place."

Kid nodded. "Yes Father."

Death casually walked away. Vianca clapped and wiped a tear from her eye. "He trusts you so much."

Kid nodded. "He does. I'll make him proud."

Viana nodded as well. Then she pointed at the candles emerging from DWMA's arches. "Do those lights ever go out?"

Kid shook his head.

"Do you have an eternal flame permit? Form F68?"

Kid nodded and handed it to her. She checked something off.

Section after section, crucial detail after crucial detail—Kid had all the answers and the paperwork to back it up. They inspected every inch of DWMA, inside and out.

"When was the last time the air ducts were cleaned?" asked Ms. Blance as the two finished up their rounds in the newly renovated basement.

"Two weeks ago," Kid said, pulling out the paperwork and receipts.

She checked it off. "By the way, I love this red color. It's really delightfully ominous."

"Actually, there's a funny story behind it."

"I'd love to hear it, but, I'm actually running short on time," Vianca replied as she glanced at her watch. "I have to go to one class and sit through it. Would you mind taking me to a class?"

Of course Kid obliged. And what better class to go to than Stein's? It was the class he was supposed to be in at this time anyway. So Kid and Bianca went to class.

Kid gently knocked on the door, and excused himself as he walked in, "Pardon us class, but Ms. Vianca Blance, an education deputy from the state will be sitting in on this lecture."

Stein nodded, as Death had warned him and all the other faculty and staff that appeasing Ms. Blance was the day's main objective. After listening to Stein explain the theoretical models for the foundational understanding of soul resonance for an hour, Vianca asked, "What class was that?"

"Applications of Soul Resonance 2002. It's an upperclassman class under the supernatural topics section of our curriculum."

Vianca looked at the curriculum and checked something off her paper. "I quite enjoy listening to lectures from Supernatural secondary schools."

Finally, the two walked through the halls. Vianca made a note in her paper. Aloud, she said, "I love the symmetry of this school. It's astonishing how beautiful the symmetry is."

Kid smiled at her as he pointed to himself. "I love symmetry too! I ensured that the school was decorated symmetrically!"

Vianca laughed. "I really appreciate that. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it's improperly filed paperwork. But asymmetry is a close second. Doesn't just irk you?"

"Like hell it does," Kid agreed. "And I just want to fix it!"

"I know! It's like, how difficult can it be to make one side the same as the other?"

Kid nodded, happy to have found a kindred spirit.

"I believe that's about it. So let me say that you've done a great job with this school. You saved it from the brink of being shut down."

Kid beamed.

"All I need to see is your license to kill and I'll be leaving you with a perfect score!" she cheered.

Kid smiled. He reached into the stack of paperwork that he'd been carrying around all day.

…

…

His smile dropped. "Actually, I think I left it in the office. Let me go get it."

Vianca nodded. "I'll come with you."

"No, no, no, stay put," Kid assured. "I'll be back in a second."

Before Ms. Blance could protest, Kid ran like the wind to the front office. He tore through the door and shouted, "Where's the license to kill?!"

Eruka, who had been typing on the computer, didn't even glance at Kid. "It's in the brown folder with the license to be a school."

"What brown folder?" Kid exclaimed.

"…The brown folder with that was on top of Death's desk."

"There was no brown folder on top of Father's desk."

"It was with the other folder. I put the two folders with all the paperwork on Death's desk."

Kid threw his folder at her. "I see no brown folder!"

Eruka looked hurt. Kid apologized, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But we're just about to pass with a perfect score. All she needs is the license to kill."

Eruka stood up and looked through the papers, magically organizing them. She then froze. "Oh croak, why isn't it here?" She frantically searched through the folder. "Here's the license to be a school…" Then she paused. She turned to Kid. "Did you drop it?"

Kid gave her a look of daggers. "Of course not."

She shrugged. "Then I don't know where else it could be." She opened up her computer and began typing something. Kid hovered over her as she did. Eruka pulled up the state website, and searched for DWMA's name. "Don't worry. I'll just reprint it."

Kid exhaled.

Eruka gasped. Kid frowned.

Eruka pursed her lips. She stopped typing. Then she turned to Kid and clapped her hands together. "So, turns out that it's still processing."

Kid shook his head slowly. "What does that mean?"

"It hasn't been signed by the appropriate authorities. It says it'll take about a week."

Kid dropped to his knees. "We don't have a week. She's here now."

"Well what do you want me to do about that?" Eruka complained.

Kid shook her shoulders. "Fix this."

"HOW? It'll take a week to process."

"Make it process faster!"

"What do you want me to do? Go there and force them to process it?"

Kid smiled deviously at Eruka. Eruka rolled her eyes. "Croak. Okay. Let's go to the State Department of Education."

"We?" Kid emphasized. "I need to be here with Ms. Blance."

"And do what? Stare at her? Your best bet is to come with me and yell at the higher ups. Get your friends to distract her."

Kid groaned. He whipped out his cell phone.

Liz was sitting in class, playing games on her phone when she saw that Kid sent her a text message. _Distract Ms Blance._ It said. "Why?" Liz asked to herself. But she stood up, grabbed Patty and left the class. Liz explained the situation. Then the two found Ms. Blance waiting in the hall.

"Wassup?" Liz called out.

Ms. Blance glanced at her watch. "Hello. How are you?"

"You look bored," Patty said.

"I'm just waiting for some paperwork," Ms. Blance answered.

"OH!" Liz and Patty said in unison. Patty continued, "That makes sense."

Vianca asked, "What makes sense?"

"Want to see our gym?" Liz asked.

"I've seen the gym already—"

Liz grabbed her hand and led her to the gym.

Meanwhile, at the State Department of Education, Kid and Eruka burst in, shouting, "We need to expedite the processing of our license to kill!"

It was quite a rude interruption. All the employees were calmly sitting at their desks, typing, filing papers, talking to each other and drinking coffee. Now they all just stared at Kid and Eruka. One outspoken employee demanded, "Please take a number and wait until your number is called."

Kid yelled, "NO! We need our license to kill now!"

The same employee sighed, cleared his desk and beckoned them toward him. "Okay. Come here. Let me guess. Supernatural secondary school?"

Kid and Eruka sat at the opposite side of his desk and nodded.

"I can't stand these schools sometimes," he complained. He shook each of their hands. "My name is Marcus Temp. Education deputy. What can I help you with?"

Eruka said, "We filed a license to kill—"

"Did you pay the express processing fee?"

Eruka shrugged. "What fee?"

Marcus shook his head. "Okay. Okay. Well, don't worry about that. How quickly do you need it?"

Kid replied, "Now."

"Of course. Of course. This always happens. Every week." He pulled up a screen on his computer. "What school?"

"DWMA," Erica replied.

He pointed at them. "Aren't you the school that hasn't had a state mandated test in seven years?"

Kid pointed at him. "Can we focus on the task at hand?"

Marcus shrugged. "Sure. Sure." He typed on his computer. He then printed something out and then placed it on the desk. "Sign on the dotted line please."

Kid and Eruka glanced at each other. "Who?" they both asked.

"Someone sign it," Marcus rudely shot back. "Most preferably someone who is of higher authority."

Kid signed it. Marcus took that paper and filed it away. He then printed another paper. He handed it to Kid. Kid smiled, "Is this the license to kill?"

"Nope. It's the permit that you have to get the District Attorney to sign. Then he'll give you a form that the Police Chief at the Headquarters has to sign. Then he'll give you a license to kill."

Kid and Eruka frowned.

Marcus said, "Well? Aren't you in a hurry?"

At DWMA, Patty and Liz kept pummeling Vianca with soft dodgeballs. Vianca kept trying to run and hide, while crying out, "Leave me alone! Please! I need to finish some paperwork!"

But they were relentless. Eventually Vianca cowered in a corner, shielding herself with her padfolio. Nygus walked in, to prepare for the next gym class, and she saw the Thompson sisters harassing the Education Deputy.

She immediately grabbed a couple of basketballs and chucked each of them at the sisters. Liz and Patty turned around and glared at Nygus. They began throwing dodgeballs at her. The three of them got into a dodgeball fight while Vianca slipped away. She rushed down the hall, and bumped into Spirit again.

"Are you alright?" Spirit asked, when Vianca fell to the ground. He helped her up.

Vianca tried to fix herself up quickly and cleared her throat. "Yes. I'm fine."

"You seem to be having a rough time."

"Yeah. I was abducted by some students."

"I hope they didn't hurt you."

She shook her head and smiled. "Oh, um, no."

"Shall I take you to the nurse?" He held out his hand. She accepted. He led her down to the nurse's office.

Inside was Kim. She looked up and said, "What's up?"

Spirit answered, "This beautiful young woman needs your attention."

Kim glanced at Ms. Blance. She quickly healed her up. "She's fine. But I need you to fill out some paperwork to document your visit."

Vianca happily filled out the paperwork, then asked, "Are you a student here?"

Kim nodded.

"Do you have a permit to practice magical healing?"

Kim shrugged. She pointed to a framed piece of paper that was hung on the wall. "Is that it? That's the thing Kid told me to display in a 'conspicous area.'"

Vianca nodded and checked something off of her paper.

Getting the District Attorney's signature was easy enough, but at the police headquarters, the police chief was nowhere to be found. Kid paced back and forth. "They can only distract her for so long," he muttered. As if he'd jinxed it, his phone beeped. He checked his phone. Liz texted, _We lost her_.

Eruka played with her phone. "Kid, just be patient."

"This is all your fault."

"Okay, YOU try to file a mountain of paper work in four short weeks. I did the best I could!"

Kid groaned. He sat in a corner and moped. "I'm a worthless person."

At DWMA, Spirit and Vianca waited for Kid to retrieve the paperwork.

Actually, Spirit and Vianca chatted over coffee in the faculty lounge. Vianca laughed, "Spirit, you're so funny."

Spirit laughed. "I don't think so."

"You are Spirit," she said. "And charming."

"I think you are too. I think you're so interesting."

"Really?" She blushed. "Honestly though, my friends think that I'm a boring career woman."

"Boring? What? You just told me about all your interesting hobbies."

"I don't think that knitting is 'interesting.'"

Spirit touched her chin. "I think so. Who cares what the others think?"

Vianca blushed.

That's when Stein and BlackStar walked into the faculty lounge. Stein was in the middle of a sentence, "And so if you want to do research with me over the summer, I would like that." Stein calmly interrupted Vianca and Spirit by pouring himself some coffee. "Oh, Spirit, I see you've met Ms. Blance, the Education Deputy. Don't mess around."

BlackStar shook her hand. "Hello. I'm BlackStar. Top student."

"One of the best," Stein added. "Quite gifted." He sipped his coffee. "He used to be a dumbass, but he's turned himself around 180 degrees in a month."

BlackStar laughed loudly. "That's because I'm a god!"

Vianca laughed as well. Then she asked, "Is he really a god? Because if he is, he should be registered in the god database."

BlackStar nodded. "I'm in the database. At least I should be. I filed the paperwork."

Vianca took out her phone, opened the state app, and searched the database. "Yup, I see you in our system." She smiled.

Spirit was confused, "Wait, BlackStar, are you really a god?"

Stein shrugged. "That's what I wanted to research. It seems as if his unbelievable ego actually warped reality and made him into a god." Stein smiled wickedly. "I want to dissect him."

BlackStar laughed. "Don't worry Stein, I'll let you do it over summer break."

The two laughed. Spirit felt weird.

At the Headquarters, Kid sobbed. "She's probably failed us by now."

"Quite bitching," Eruka complained. "And where's the stupid police chief?" Eruka marched right up to the front desk, slammed her hand on it and demanded, "I want to talk to the police chief now!"

The secretary sighed. "Look, I don't know where he is. I can try to call him again." She picked up the phone and made a phone call. No answer. The secretary sighed. "I'm sorry. I can't control when Chief Canapa comes in to work."

Eruka laughed. "Haha, is Canapa his real name?"

Kid repeatedly slammed his head against a wall. Eruka called the police chief herself on her cellphone while bartering with the secretary, "Look, just forge his signature. I'll give you $20."

"Nothing less than $100," she answered.

"I don't have that much with me. Kid? How much do you have?"

"$50." Kid moped.

"Together that's $70. How about it?"

"Nope. $150 or bust."

"$150! Why'd you raise it?"

Suddenly Eruka's phone rang. She answered it.

"Help," a frantic voice said on the other line. "I'm locked in a closet in a warehouse. I think I'm in downtown Death City. They've finally got me. They're going on and on about how I busted their buddies in Brooklyn. I didn't do the Brooklyn thing. I thought that by transferring here, I'd be safe. Help me."

Eruka hung up the phone. She turned to Kid. "Go to an ATM."

Once they received the forged paperwork, they returned to DWMA. They ran to where Kidd had left Vianca. Upon not seeing her there, he dropped to his knees and sobbed. "No! I've failed!"

Eruka groaned. "That was a waste of $150!"

Kid curled up into a ball. "This is all your fault."

Eruka felt offended. "Well I messed up. My bad. Witches make mistakes. What do you want me to do about it?"

Kid shook his head and curled up into a ball. "Kill me. Because I've failed."

The two trudged into the front office. "Well, I guess the school is getting shut down," Kid whined. He sulked in a corner.

Eruka tried to comfort him. "Maybe we can convince her—"

Vianca entered the front office alongside Spirit. The two were laughing. Spirit said, "Well, I guess I'll see you for our date on Saturday?"

Vianca nodded. "Yes."

Eruka gaped at them. Kid was too busy sulking to notice. The two laughed. Spirit kissed her hand and left. She blushed. Then she turned to see Kid, lying on the floor. She guessed, "You don't have a license to kill?"

Eruka jumped in, "We do!" She kicked Kid. "Kid! Kid! She didn't leave!"

Kid jumped to life. "You didn't leave!" He grabbed her hand. "You didn't leave!"

He high fived Eruka. Eruka handed the paperwork to her. "There goes our license to kill."

Vianca glanced at it. "Okay. Great." She checked off everything. "Seems to me like you've done a complete 180 degree turn and become a respectable school." She handed the paper to Kid.

Kid beamed and his eyes watered at the sight of the perfect score. Vianca said, "Keep this up, and by next semester, I'll lift the academic probation."

"What?" Eruka and Kid said simultaneously.

Vianca smiled happily at them. "I'm so proud."

Eruka raised her eyebrows and gave her a stank look. "Don't give me that bullshit. Why are we on probation if our score is a 100?"

Vianca blushed a little. She adjusted her glasses and explained, "Your school still doesn't have records of standardized testing. You're on probation because of that." She pointed on the paper. "See, I noted it right here."

Eruka looked at Kid. "If I kill her—"

Vianca backed away and tried to shield herself with her padfolio. "Killing an Education Deputy merits immediate shut down of the school!"

Kid asked, "Wait, so is probation bad?"

Vianca explained, "It just means that if you fail the standardized tests next semester, your school looses accreditation."

Kid pointed to himself. "But I did everything right?"

Vianca nodded. Kid pointed to Eruka. "And she did too?" Vianca nodded. Kid smirked. He hi-fived Eruka. They both cheered, "We're awesome!"

Kid led Eruka out of the room while proclaiming, "Let's go celebrate with Father!"

"He's buying shoots!" Eruka said. They paraded out of the office. Vianca heard them cheering in the hallway, "We did it! We did it! We did it!"

She heard another student yell, "You succeeded? My blessings must have rubbed off on you!"

"Shut up BackStar!" Eruka and Kid replied.

Vianca straightened herself up and checked DWMA off of her checklist. She then left the school as she said to herself, "Another school, brought up to code." She blushed. "And a date this Saturday."


	18. Maka's Mom Threatens to Change Everythin

Maka's Mom Threatens to Change Everything

"Maka Albarn, please report to the front office," rang out a voice over the intercom. Stein paused his lecture and turned around to Maka, nonverbally acknowledging her right to leave the classroom. Maka stood up and walked out of the room. She headed toward the front office, only to see, from all the way from down the hall, that her mother and her father were standing outside the front office, chatting and laughing.

"SSSShit," Maka cursed, as she backtracked. She returned to Stein's class.

Stein noticed as she reentered the room. He asked, "Back so soon?"

"I need Soul too," Maka said.

"Dammit," Soul complained as he closed his laptop and walked toward the front door of the classroom. Stein shook his head. "The secretary really should be more specific," Stein complained.

So Soul and Maka left the classroom. Once they were a few paces away from the door, Maka pulled him aside and said, "My mom's here."

"The f*ck does that have to do with me?" asked Soul.

"Why is she here?" Maka grumbled. "And with Papa too! What if they want to get remarried again or something? I can't deal with that!"

"Calm your flat-tits, girl," Soul began, "and go ask if you're so curious about what they're talking about."

"Ugh, I need your moral support right now," Maka said as she grabbed his arm and pulled him along with her. The two approached Maka's parents, who were standing right outside the office.

"Papa's angel!" Spirit called out as he gave Maka a hug.

"You're Maka's worst nightmare," Maka retorted. Maka's dad pouted and crawled into a corner to weep. Maka's mom then gave Maka a hug, saying, "Hello Sweetie."

"Hi Mama," Maka said.

"Let's go into the office. I need to talk to you about something serious." She noticed Soul. "…Hi…Soul…"

Soul nodded to her. "Hi Mom."

"Did you need something Soul?"

Soul shrugged. "I'm just here with Maka," he honestly answered.

Maka's mom pursed her lips. "Okay…" She led them inside the office, to a side room that was empty. She then placed her hand firmly on Maka's shoulders as she took notice of Maka, looking her over up and down.

Maka's mom stared at her for a long moment. Maka blushed as her mother silently judged her. Finally, the woman said, "Maka…" she pointed to Maka's shoes. "What are thoooooooose?"

Maka turned pink. Soul's eyes started to water. He turned around and placed a hand against the wall, and leaned over, in order to collect himself, before he burst into uncool laughter.

"Why aren't you wearing the ones I bought for you?" Maka's mom inquired.

Maka pouted and stared at her.

"Well?" Maka's mom insisted.

"Mama what did you want? Why'd you call me up here?"

"Maka," her mother repeated sternly.

"…I didn't like them."

"So… you like those better?"

Maka heard Soul struggle to contain his laughter. She turned to Soul, "Shut up Soul." She turned to her mom. "These are better for fighting."

"I bought lightweight steel-toed combat boots."

"They were pink!" Maka whined.

"It was part of a matching pink outfit. I spent a long time in the mall picking that out for you—"

"I don't want to wear pink. You always buy pink stuff for me."

"You look cute in pink. Soul, doesn't she look cute in pink?"

Soul couldn't stop shuddering with laughter. He simply nodded his head. Maka's mom accepted that as a yes. "See, you look cute in pink."

"Soul's an idiot," Maka complained.

"But look at his swag. Soul, why don't you help her get swag?"

Soul had to walk out of the office to collect himself. He just couldn't. _I literally can't._ He thought to himself. Today was the best day he'd had in a while. Maka's mom smiled as he left. "He's a nice kid," she said. Then she sighed. "But, I guess now that he's not here, we can talk about why I'm here."

Maka exhaled. "Yes, the sooner the better. I need to get back to class."

"That's the thing. I don't know if I want you going here anymore."

Maka stared at her mother in shock. "What?"

"I mean, you're a smart girl, and there's so many more opportunities out there—"

"No," Maka disagreed.

"Sweetie you are smart. Don't down on yourself."

"I know _that_. I mean no I'm not leaving DWMA."

"Why are you here? What purpose does it serve now that the making of death scythes is no longer a thing?"

"We're still protecting the world from madness and all that junk," Maka argued.

Her mom sighed. "I guess, but looking at the job market years from now—"

"Really Mama?"

"I'm being serious. You need a better education, especially if this school isn't accredited."

Oh, so she'd heard about that, Maka realized. "They just need to fix some paperwork. It's not like their curriculum isn't approved!"

Maka's mom shook her head. "I started looking into schools once your father told me that DWMA was on academic probation. And I think I know where I want you to go."

"Mama you don't control me. I can make my own decisions."

Her mother knelt down to Maka's level. "I know you can make decisions. But not necessarily the right decisions. I was your age once too."

"I'm not leaving."

"I have custody of you. If I pull you out of the school, they have to do it. I'll give you a week to pack your things." She kissed Maka on the forehead.

"…" Maka gaped at her mother. Soul reentered the room. He sensed the tension, so he asked, "What's up Mom?"

Maka's mom shook her head. "Nothing Soul." She patted his shoulder as she left the office. Maka didn't move. She was frozen in shock.

"You okay shortstack?" Soul asked.

Maka slowly shook her head as her eyebrows furrowed and her body trembled. She was so angry that tears welled up in her eyes.

"Maka?" he asked.

"She wants to send me to another school," Maka sobbed.

"What? Why?"

"Because she's a control freak! She needs to be in charge of everything I do! Why does she act like this with me but she couldn't even control her own marriage?" Maka punched a wall. "What's wrong with her!? She can't do this. I'm not leaving!"

"Wait, hold on, calm down and explain," Soul said.

"And if you weren't so busy laughing," Maka began. Then she dropped to her knees and cried. "I'm so dumb. What could you have done about it?"

"Maka…"

"What am I going to do? I can't live with her again. When she wasn't fighting with Papa, she was always trying to craft me into her little mini-me. I came here so that I could surpass her with my own skills! I can't…I don't want to leave…" She wiped her face.

Soul sat down beside her. He sighed. "She wants you to leave DWMA?"

She nodded.

"Because…?"

"She claims it's the school's accreditation. I know it's because she wants to be part of my life again and control it."

Soul gently wrapped his arm around Maka. "Look, maybe we can talk some sense into her."

"No. She's not that kind of person. Only Papa can sway her decisions…" Maka smacked her own forehead. "I'll just switch my custody to Papa! Then she can't pull me out of DWMA and I'll be fine!"

Soul exhaled. "Problem solved." He wiped her face with the sleeve of his sweater. "And you didn't see me crying like a baby."

"I know." She gave him a hug. "Thanks. You're a good friend."

Soul smiled. "You're welcome."

Maka smiled at him. He smiled at her. Soul turned away and said, "Didn't you want to go back to class?" He stood up, and helped Maka up. Together they walked back to class.

After school, Maka stopped by Death's room to talk to her dad in private.

"Papa, can I switch my custody to you?" Maka begged.

"…" Spirit's eyes began to water.

"Papa?"

He sobbed. "Your mother warned me that you'd ask this."

Maka's eyes widened. This woman was two steps ahead of Maka.

"Papa, please, she wants to take me out of DWMA! If you want to finally be a good father, do this one thing for me!"

"She—she didn't tell me that," Spirit stuttered, honestly shocked. "Why?"

"She said she doesn't think this is a good school."

"What?! We spent so much time modernizing the curriculum! Give me a second." Spirit pulled out his phone and started texting someone. "I just texted her. Meanwhile, explain to me why she wants to move you?"

"She only said that she thinks I need better opportunities," Maka elaborated. "I don't know what that means."

"I think she just wants to take you away from me," Spirit whined. "She's been out for revenge."

"Why are you ruining my life?!" Maka exclaimed. "You've never been a good father!"

Spirit felt heartbroken. "Maka, you really think that don't you…" he saidly mumbled.

Maka blushed. Frustrated, she groaned and threw her hands into the air. "Of course not!" She sighed. "I'm just really upset at everything. I don't really understand the complexities of your and Mama's relationship. I'm blaming you for everything because that's what I think happened. If you and her love each other so much, how hard is it to just, I dunno, love each other?"

Spirit laid his hands on Maka's shoulders. "A lot of it was my fault, yes. I know that saying sorry doesn't help, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry it didn't work out and that you were always caught in the middle of it." He hugged her. "I love you and your mother Maka."

"Remember when I asked you to stop? I asked you to stop being lecherous and you told me you would."

"…"

Maka sniffled. "I've always wanted you and Mama to be happy. And if it means that you two have this weird friends with benefits relationship, that's fine. I don't mind." She wiped her face. "And I know that you love me. I'm just really frustrated."

Spirit's eyes watered. Then Spirit's phone beeped. He checked the text. He sighed and said, "She said it's none of my business what she does."

"Papa, file for custody of me. Please."

"I can't. Not only would the legal battle take awhile, and she'd already have moved you by then, but they most likely wouldn't award me your custody once she tells them of my lady-loving lifestyle. And on top of that, I promised her that I'd never file for custody of you after she slept with me after we had dinner that night."

"Goshdammit, Papa, I didn't need to know that," Maka complained.

"Maka, I'm sorry. Wait. I'll talk to her. I'll see what I can do," he said as Maka stormed out of the office. Soul was patiently waiting outside, headphones in, nodding his head to music. Once Maka stormed out, he knew it didn't go well.

"What happened?" he asked.

"He's useless," she said.

"…Let's reassess our options," Soul advised.

"Soul it's hopeless." Maka hugged him.

"…"


	19. Maka's Mom Acquiesces-Under One Conditio

Maka's Mom Acquiesces—Under One Condition

The following week, after school, Maka and Soul were walking down the hall, towards the exit of the school. "I'm not leaving," Maka told Soul. "She's going to have to drag me."

"You're pretty lightweight so I'm sure she could," Soul joked.

"Can we be serious here?" Maka asked.

They rounded the corner, and bumped into, none other than Maka's mom. The woman smiled. "Oh, Maka, I was just coming to get you." She grabbed Maka's hand. "Let's go out for ice cream," her mother suggested.

Maka glared at her mother. Soul shrugged and waved goodbye, saying, "See you later then." He walked away.

Maka's mom asked, "Sweetie, why don't you ever let your hair down?"

"Because I like it up," she replied as she yanked her hand out of her mother's hand.

Maka's mom suggested, "You should let it down. The twin ponytails seem sort of childish, you know?"

Maka didn't reply. Her mother took her downtown to a small little ice cream shop. She ordered fudge sundaes for both of them and they sat down in a small little booth by the window. For the first few minutes, both women ate their ice cream in silence.

"So the school I'm signing you up for is Wellesly Girl's Academy—" Maka's mom began.

"Why do you want me to switch schools so much?" Maka shouted as she pounded the table.

"Maka, sweetie—"

"The real reason!" Maka demanded.

"You shouldn't yell at your mother, Sweetie."

Maka rolled her eyes.

"Or roll your eyes. Wow, you're becoming spoiled. But we'll fix that when we move."

"Mama be honest with me, please," Maka begged.

Her mother closed her eyes and calmly said, "Because you're too close to Soul, okay?"

Maka shook her head, frustrated, as she tossed her arms into the air. "What?"

Maka's mom raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean 'what'? Aren't you too dating?"

Maka cringed, as if appalled by that idea.

"…" Her mother paused. "Wait… then… why'd he come to dinner?"

"Because for fun, I dunno," Maka lied. She honestly answered, "But we're just friends."

"I can't tell if you're seriously clueless or if you're trying to cover it up," the woman said.

"Mom, we're friends," Maka clearly declared.

Her mother was taken aback by that statement. "How did I raise such a ditz?" her mother said. "Soul's absolutely in love with you. You can't tell?"

"No he's not," Maka insisted. "Soul and I are just friends." She tried to think of a time where he was romantic to her even in the slightest… Nope.

"Maka, sweetie, he'll do anything for you. He's got this look in his eyes when he's near you. He loves you."

"No he doesn't," Maka insisted. Then she realized what her mother's plan was. "But even if he did, why would you try to tear something like that apart?"

"Because with love like that, one thing leads to another, and suddenly... I don't want you to make the mistakes that I did."

"I'm just your huge mistake, aren't I?" Maka shot back. "I'm a mistake that never should have happened. I get that. Fine. But you don't have to punish me for it."

"No, sweetie, you're not a mistake."

"Yes I am! You've said it time and time again," Maka yelled.

"No, I mean—"

"You're so afraid of me doing what you did wrong! But I won't because I'm not stupid and SOUL DOESN'T LOVE ME!"

"Maka calm down," her mother begged. "I never said that you were a mistake. My mistake was falling irrationally in love with someone who was bad for me. Someone I still love even to this day. I just want to separate you from anything that could do that to you."

"Even my friends? My goals? My happiness?"

"You'll make more friends, aspire to higher goals, and be happy."

"Mom I don't want to go. Please don't make me. I love here."

Her mother sighed. "I'm pretty sure that I'm doing the right thing, Maka…"

Maka got so angry that tears fell down her eyes as she frowned so hard that even the wrinkles in her face had wrinkles.

"Maka come on," her mother began. "You should be thinking about what's best for you in the long run. And you're making an ugly face."

Maka didn't reply.

"And if you're anything like me or your father, and you can't control yourself once your emotions start kicking in, I want to be there to guide you. That's what mothers do."

"I'm not like either of you," Maka insisted. "And if you want to be part of my life, you could move here."

"Your father's here," she said.

Maka rolled her eyes and laid her head down on the table.

Her mother continued, "And as nice as Soul seems, I'd just rather you not get involved with boys right now. This was the age I started and well, we both know I wasn't mature enough."

"I'm not involved with him," Maka explained again, exasperated.

Maka's mom tried to make it as clear too Maka as it was to her. "He calls me Mom. He pretty much thinks he's part of the family."

Maka really began to regret asking Soul to come to dinner with her. She once again explained, "Because he's a great friend."

"Or he's set his sights on your heart. Maka, come on."

"You're wrong," Maka firmly stated.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"You shouldn't argue with your mother."

"You shouldn't drag your daughter into your relationship and trust issues."

"…" Her mother pursed her lips. That hurt. "Okay. Fine. Okay, how about this…" The woman sighed. "Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I'm overthinking this. Maybe DWMA is right for you and you'll be fine and everything will work out and I'm just trying to live vicariously through you."

Maka nodded fiercely. "Yes. Yes that's what you're doing."

"Maka, I really am just trying to do what's best, so, if you can prove that Soul isn't in love with you, you can stay."

Maka exhaled in relief. "Great! Oh, Mama, you'll see how ridiculous this whole thing is."

"…I think you'll be the one who's surprised Sweetie…"

Maka shook her head. "I know Soul better than anyone."


	20. Maka's Mom Calls BS

Maka's Mom Calls BS

Maka arrived home later that day. Soul was laying on the floor, playing chess with Blair, who was beating him, even though she was in cat form.

"Dammit," Soul muttered, as Blair finished him off with a checkmate.

Blair laughed and said, "Blair won! Now you have to take a bath with Blair!"

"Best two out of three?" Soul asked, right as Maka opened the door.

"Nope. Blair won the bet fair and square!" She winked at him. "See you tonight you Naughty Boy!" She cat-walked away.

Maka closed the door behind her. "What was that about?"

"Uh… Blair beat me at chess… and I lost a bet because of it."

"A bet huh?" Maka sat down on the sofa. "I guess you could say that I made a kind of bet with my mom today too."

"Really?" Soul asked as he sat up.

"I know I'll win though," she said.

"Kay." Soul stood up. "Have fun with that." He headed toward his room.

"Wait, Soul, quick question," Maka asked, standing up and lightly grabbing his shirt.

"Again with the questions?"

"Do you love me?" Maka asked.

Soul's eyes tripled in size and his face turned bright red. He quickly turned away. "Geez Maka, why are you asking dumb shit like that for…?"

Maka smiled. "Just curious."

"You really want to know?" he asked, daring to look her in the eyes.

"I already know the answer," she said.

"Oh shit, you do?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yup."

Soul stared at her, absolutely shocked. She stared at him. Slowly her smile slowly faded. Soul quietly asked, "Do you… love me back?"

Maka backed away. "Wait…" she said.

"…"

Both were quiet for a long while.

Finally Maka broke the silence, "Soul, tell me the truth, like, in all honesty. Do you love me?"

Soul slowly nodded his head.

Maka turned pink. She shoved him. "Soul, no, you're supposed to say you're not in love with me," Maka muttered, astonished.

"You said say the truth," Soul answered, shoving her in reply.

Maka stared at him, her eyes wide, her thoughts confused. "But…no…you can't be…"

Now Soul was confused. "Why not?"

Maka explained the whole situation to him.

Soul suggested, "Then I'll just lie and say that I'm not."

"But that's not the point. The point is that you are," Maka said.

"She doesn't have to know that."

"But I know that."

"I'm not following your logic."

"I don't want you to be in love with me because I don't feel that way about you."

Ouch. That f*cking hurt. Soul had to sit down to recover from that blow. He interlocked his fingers and leaned forward, as he pondered his life for a moment. Maka realized that she had really hurt him with her bluntness. But she didn't know what to say. After a minute, he responded, "Shit, okay, ouch."

"That's why!" Maka said, gasping. "I'm so sorry." She shook her head in disbelief. "I don't want to hurt you."

Soul tried to calm her down. "It's okay, Maka."

"No it's not! How long have you felt like this?" Maka asked.

Soul shrugged. "A while."

"That's specific!" Maka sarcastically said. She sighed. "I'm so sorry."

"No, it's not like you put a love curse on me," he joked.

"I can't stay here then," she said.

Soul was so confused. Like, what the hell was she going on about? "What?"

"I can't live with you if you love me and I feel nothing for you. Doesn't that hurt?"

"Yeah, but it'd hurt just as much if you left," Soul said.

Maka seemed so tormented. How could she be so selfish and not notice that her best friend loved her? "What do you want Soul?"

"I want you to be happy. If that means go with your Mom, then go. If that mean stay with me, then stay."

Maka covered her mouth and stared at him. Soul glanced at his watch. "Well?"

"You're not playing are you?" Maka said.

"Nope." Why would he play about something like this?

"How can you be so chill about this?"

"Because it's a chill thing." What was he supposed to freak out? That was obviously Maka's job.

"No it's not! You've been living with these feelings and I've never noticed."

"It's okay. If you had never noticed, it'd be okay. I'm not upset or anything. It just is what it is."

Maka stared at him.

Soul added, "And whether you stay or leave, I'll love you."

Maka still stared at him, speechless.

"Do I have to put it in a song?" he asked. He sat down and crossed his legs, turning both legs, from the knee downward, into pianos. He smirked at her as he played a jazzy tune, and started speaking poetically, "I'll always love you, no matter where you go."

"Soul stop," Maka said.

"And you don't know the feelings that I don't show. You're in my heart like resonance. I'll pay the penance for loving someone that can't love me back. I'll stay here waiting though. When you leave it'll leave a heavy blow, but I won't die from that attack."

"Soul, stop," Maka begged.

"Nothing can stop the love, my heartbeat resonance. Love everlasting, an endless death sentence. But I can't die, won't die, cause nothing can stop me. I'll wait until you're mine because your love with set me free."

Maka covered her face and shook her head. He laughed and reverted back to his fully human form. He sighed as he stood up. "I know you don't feel anything for me. And that's okay. It's whatever. But I didn't want you to feel weird or anything. That's why I never told you."

"…You're so considerate," Maka mumbled. "Let me be considerate of you. What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to be happy."

"I'll be happy if you're happy. I'll stay here with you if it makes you happy."

"But I don't want you to feel the need to make me happy."

This was exasperating. Maka said, "Me too. Soul tell me what to do. You want me to stay here, right?"

"What do you think?"

"Give me a straight answer dammit!"

Soul leaned in, grabbed her hands, and kissed her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed her into a hug, as he pressed his lips against hers. Maka was hesitant at first, but she let him kiss her until he pulled away. He then let her go.

"Does that answer your question?" he asked. "You know I suck at explaining things."

Maka slowly shook her head. Soul stroked her cheek. "Just in case you didn't quite get it," he kissed her again.

"…" Maka stared at him.

Then he added, "I love you but I don't want to force you to love me. I don't want you to feel guilty for not reciprocating my love. I hope that one day it'll happen. If not, you'll always be my first love, and I'll move on."

Maka nodded.

"And… if this love is too much for you and you choose to leave, that's okay too. I can't really pick the lesser of two evils—you being here with me and not loving me or you being far away from me and not loving me. You know? I'll be the same amount of 'happy' either way. So it really depends on what you think is best for you."

"Soul…" Maka said. "I feel like I'm being unfair."

Soul shook his head. "No you're not. It's not unfair if you don't love me back. It just is what it is."

Maka sighed. She was quiet for a while. She bit her lip. What should she say? Finally, she replied, "I want to stay at DWMA. Please lie to her."

Soul smiled. "Of course. I'd do anything for you."

"Soul, I'm sorry," Maka said.

Soul shrugged. "No need to be. But just a heads up, um, Blair said that if I lost at chess with her, I have to take a bath with her… so that's happening…"

Maka opened her mouth as if to say something, but then she shook her head and went into her room. She needed a nap. This was really mind blowing to her.

The next day, Maka's mom entered the cozy, clean apartment. "Oh, Maka, this place is actually nice," she complimented. Maka beamed with joy at her mother's praise. "Hello Soul," she said.

"Hi Mom," he answered.

"Are you helping Maka pack?" Maka's mom asked.

"Nope. She said she's not leaving."

"Really?"

Soul nodded.

She asked, "Soul, you don't want her to leave, do you?"

"Nope. She's my meister."

"Is that the only reason?"

Soul added, "And it'd be a hassle finding another roommate."

"Do you love my daughter?" asked Maka's mom, skipping the bullshit.

That question caught Soul off guard. _Dang, both Maka and her mother are so blunt!_ Soul thought. "What?" Soul exclaimed, pointing to Maka. "Her?"

"Yes. Do you love Maka?" Her mother persisted.

"What do you mean love?" he asked.

"Do you have feelings for my daughter?"

He glanced at Maka. "No! I mean, as a friend, sure."

Maka's mom smiled, sadly. "It hurts you to lie like that. You're more in love with her than I thought."

Soul blushed. He turned away. "I'd never fall in love with a short-stacked girl like Maka."

Maka's mom laughed and hugged Soul gently. "I'm sorry that I have to take her away from you, but young love this strong is dangerous. Trust me. I know." She stroked Soul's hair. "You don't have to lie anymore. Help her pack. I'll be back next week."

She let him go, stood up, and left.

Maka stared at Soul. Soul said, "I'm sorry. She could see right through me. She could see right into my soul."

Maka shouted, "Dammit! Why couldn't you just pretend for one moment not to love me?"

"Dammit Maka, I've been doing it since we met! I thought I'd mastered it by now!"

Maka blinked several times. "…What?"

"Dammit!" Soul cursed. "You know what, maybe you should leave. I can't keep pretending that I mean more to you than I actually do. I can't keep lying to myself. You're never going to feel what I feel and frankly, you can't understand it." He sighed. "I love you so much Maka that it hurts. I can't do this anymore…" he trudged to his room and shut the door.

Maka sat on the sofa and covered her face. Wow. She was being very inconsiderate… She was being a horrible friend. But she'd asked him what he wanted! It seemed to her that Soul didn't even know what he wanted. What could she do!? How could she make him fell better? What was upsetting him so much?

Blair walked by, turned into her human form and knocked on Soul's door. "Soul! Soul! Are you okay? Blair can make you feel better."

"Go away you stupid cat," Soul called out from his room.

"Why don't you return Blair's love?" the cat-lady whined.

It suddenly hit her. Maka finally understood what Soul was trying to say. He _did_ know what he wanted. He wanted her to return those feelings. Soul wanted Maka to love him. But she couldn't. He was forever stuck in a limbo of mixed emotions because of her… Whether she was physically with him or not with him, **_as long as she didn't love him, he would be in pain._**

Of course she couldn't make him happy. He didn't want her to even try, because the only thing that he really wanted was for her to love him… And he didn't want to force her to try to reciprocate feelings for him. He just wanted her to be happy, because that's the closest he'd ever get to happy.

Basically, he loved her. She didn't love him. Sucks to be Soul.

Maka hit herself on the face, on purpose. "F************ck," she cursed.

…

…

"He does love me Mama," Maka said to her mom over the phone that night, after Soul had retreated to his room. "You were right."

Her mom nodded. "I told you so."

"What do I do?"

That question surprised Maka's mom. "What do you mean?"

"I feel so bad," Maka half-explained.

"Why?"

"He loves me and I don't love him back."

Her mother paused, before saying, "You don't have to."

"But I feel like I should. How can someone love me so much and I just… not?"

"You can't force it," Maka's mom said. "Just like he can't stop it either… Like, I know I shouldn't love your father, but I just do. And Soul probably knows that he shouldn't love you, but he just… does. And if you don't love him, then, well, you just don't. It doesn't make you a bad person."

"He'll do anything for me though, and the one thing he really wants from me…something that should be so easy…I can't do…"

"Maka it's okay. Sometimes love is weird. Sometimes, even though you feel like you should love someone, you don't. And even though you feel like you shouldn't love someone, you do. And then it your rationality and your emotions get all mixed up… I didn't want you to experience love like that yet though…" The woman paused. "And it doesn't help that your father and I never set a good example of what love is supposed to look like. Sweetie, I'm sorry that you've only seen how bad love can be, with me and your father."

Maka shrugged. "It's okay. I forgive you and Papa. But my question is why don't I feel anything for Soul?"

Her mom didn't know how to answer that. "I don't know Sweetie. Maybe it is best that you give yourself some space from Soul, and reevaluate how you feel about him. Maybe once you reconstruct in your mind how a healthy romantic love is supposed to look and feel like, then you'll find it easier to figure out whether you do or do not love him. Because it sounds to me that you care deeply about him."

"I do," Maka said.

"So you're coming with me then?"

"I don't have a choice," Maka said.

"Yeah," her mom added. "It'll be okay."


	21. Soul and Maka Say Goodbye

Maka and Soul Say Goodbye

"You're moving!?" BlackStar shouted as the group of friends hung out in the cafeteria.

Maka nodded. "On Saturday."

Collectively, they all groaned. Soul didn't say anything. He didn't even look at Maka. He stared toward the window, with his head rested on his hand, and a pensive look on his face.

"You should have told us earlier," Patty complained.

"My mom sprung it up on me," Maka said. "I thought I could talk her out of it..." she glanced at Soul, "...but that didn't work."

Tsubaki asked, "How do you feel?"

Maka shrugged. "I feel really upset. I don't want to leave my friends. I don't want to leave DWMA. But I don't have a choice."

Killik suggested, "Then let's have a goodbye party."

Everyone but Soul nodded and cheered in agreement. Soul remained quiet.

"Yeah, Ox and Harvar and Thunder and Fire and I will plan it all out, and on Friday, let's all meet at Kid's house and chill," Killik suggested.

"Why my house?" Kid asked.

"Biggest one," Killik said.

Kid could agree with that.

Maka shook her head, "I don't want to feel like I'm saying goodbye to everyone. It feels weird."

"Maka, it might be fun," Soul quietly said.

Maka stared at him. Everyone stared at him. BlackStar shouted, "If Soul wants a party, then we've got to have one."

So it was settled. The same crew that went to Kim's birthday party went to Maka's goodbye party. They all hung out at Kid's house, drinking soda, eating snacks, and talking.

"So the school I'm going to is called Wellesly Girls Acadamy, in London," Maka explained.

"LONDON!" BlackStar exclaimed.

"Why are you so loud?" Tsubaki asked. "You were doing so well with volume control."

BlackStar admitted, "Must be because I'm gonna miss her."

Tsubaki sighed. "I think we all are."

BlackStar grabbed Soul around his neck and ruffled his hair. "But no one's gonna miss her more than Soul!" he exclaimed.

Soul complained, "I'm not gonna miss this punk."

Maka seemed hurt. She turned away. BlackStar hit Soul. "You hurt her feelings," he said. "Get your act together. She's moving."

Soul turned away and frowned, with annoyance. "Shut up BlackStar."

"At least be nice," Tsubaki asked.

Soul rolled his eyes.

"Of course he's sad," Kim said. "He's just denying his feelings."

"Yeah, he's hiding his true disappointment," Jackie added.

Soul rolled his eyes. The conversation kept going. BlackStar bragged, "Without you Maka, I'll be top of our class in the school. I'll probably be valedictorian."

Maka laughed. "No way."

"Yes way. I'm going to be the best student at DWMA."

"But you're an idiot."

Liz piped in, "He's really not."

Maka giggled. "Okay, if he ends up being Valedictorian, then I have to see him give his speech."

BlackStar challenged her, "Okay, so I'm going to be Valedictorian, and you're going to come to DWMA for graduation to see my speech."

Maka nodded. "Agreed."

BlackStar smiled. Everyone laughed. Even Soul chuckled.

After hanging out for hours, it was nearly midnight. Just when Maka and Soul were getting ready to go, everyone surprised Maka with a goodbye gift. Jackie presented her with a photo album. "We all pitched in to make this for you," Jackie told her. She nudged Soul with her elbow. "Even this kill joy."

It was full of pictures of her and her friends. Maka flipped through it. She started to sob. She stretched out her arms for a group hug. "I don't want to leave you guys!"

Everyone began to tear up. She hugged everyone. Patty also gave her a new stuffed teddy bear. "Hold onto it like your memories of us. And don't forget to visit and call!"

Maka nodded.

Everyone hugged her again and wished her goodbye.

On the way home, Maka and Soul rode on Soul's motorcycle, through Death City. Maka, holding on tightly to Soul, said, "You know, I'll miss this."

Soul answered, "Yeah, Death City is really pretty at night."

Maka clarified, "No, not Death City. I mean I'll miss the city, but I'll miss this most of all."

"What do you mean?"

"Just holding onto you while we ride your motorcycle. I'll miss this."

Soul blushed. "And I guess I'll miss you to Maka."

Maka leaned against Soul.

...

That next day, Soul finished loading the last bit of stuff in Maka's Mom's car.

"Thanks for the help Soul," the woman thanked.

"No prob."

"And thanks for watching over Maka as well as you have. I really appreciate you."

"Again, no prob."

Maka walked by and said, "I think that's it Mama."

Maka's mom nodded. "I'll wait in the car. You two can say your goodbyes." And she went to the car.

Soul then looked at Maka. Maka looked at him. Maka gave him a hug. Soul hugged her in return.

"Goodbye Soul," she said, allowing tears to well up in her eyes.

"Not so fast," he said. He pulled out, from his pocket, a small silver necklace. On it was a single charm: a soul-shaped pendant. "Got you a goodbye present." He handed it to her. "I heard you liked it."

Maka realized that this was the same pendant he was wearing the night of the dinner with her parents. He'd remembered that she complimented it. Now he was giving it to her. Now she had something really special to remember him by. Maka smiled. "You're the best Soul."She hugged him even tighter.

Soul returned the hug. "I know," he agreed.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything." She let him go.

"You're welcome." He lightly punched her on the shoulder. "Goodbye shortstack."

"Bye cool guy." She stared at him. Then she quickly kissed him on the cheek. Soul blushed. Maka waved goodbye to him as she got into the car. Then she and her mom drove off.

Soul meandered back into his apartment and sat on the sofa and heaved a big sigh. He felt like he should cry, but he couldn't… Oh well, BlackStar said that grief affects people in different ways. Soul didn't feel sad… he felt… empty.

She was gone. Maybe he'd never even see her again. Maybe he'd just let his soulmate slip through his hands. Maybe he should have fought harder for her love. Been more assertive. Been more romantic. But that wasn't his style. Besides, Maka still probably wouldn't have loved him anyway.

"Maka…" Soul muttered. Why'd he have to go and fall in love with someone as lame as Maka anyway? Such an idiot. He sighed.

Blair sat beside him, changed into human form and asked, "You okay naughty boy?" She stroked his hair.

"Nope," he said. "But I'll be fine. I gotta look for a new roommate."

"Isn't Blair your roommate?" she poked his nose.

Soul pushed her away and chuckled a little. "Go away you witch cat."

 **THE END**

...

A/N

Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed this fanfiction!

I really loved it. It was fun writing it.

I wanted to write a sequel to this in which Soul and Maka meet again during graduation, and then they both go to FU. I also wanted to do a prequel, focusing on Maka's mom and Spirit's relationship.

But let's be real. I'm not going to do that. LOL. Maybe after this semester of college is done, I'll have enough free time for something like that. Shout out to my sister who told me to publish this story! Love her!

:-)


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